So... everything's over... and despite my begging... and my grovelling... I'm still going to be alone.
*buries his face in his hands*... I hate this feeling.
I thought I'd never have to feel this feeling again... I thought I'd finally be happy... but... it has happened again.
I'm alone again...
After everything... it's over... just like that...
... and she may be able to go on... like nothing happened... but... she has no idea what this has done to me...
I feel like I was shot in the heart. I feel like my body just wants to die to stop this pain from going on...
How can you go from utterly loving somebody to just being told they don't care about you anymore, and that you're going to be alone again?
... how can somebody remain so intact after something like that happens?
... Whatever light I once had has been snuffed out...
... and this time, there's nobody there to bring me out of the darkness anymore.
Call me pathetic, immature, melodramatic... I don't give a s**t...
... I know now that I made the same mistake as I have before.
I believed that I was happy. I believed that my happiness was going to last forever. I trusted somebody to be able to take care of me. I trusted somebody to be there for me... and I trusted somebody not to hurt me.
... I'm a fool, I guess... for letting my heart be so weak... and for believing that I was going to be happy this time...
because there isn't everlasting happiness...
It doesn't exist.
You can give away everything... drive away friends and tell them that you are happy, and that you have finally found somebody who cares about you... and in the end, you're going to end up alone, without anybody giving a damn about you.
This is just a repeat of what has happened before...
... and I will never forgive myself.
I'll lock my heart away... and never give anybody an opportunity to hurt me again...
 Rozencard · Wed Apr 15, 2009 @ 08:15am · 0 Comments |
