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...they always thought of me as a strange one...they never see that i can achieve things..they believe i give up...they are wrong...they think i am a idiot..a fool to be trifled with...a mentally ill child...they do not know. As they taunt me...i try....to find a place to hide...i showed hem i am far more intellect then any other, but they would not see. i told them i was a great start, but they would not hear. my own loving heart now seethes in loathe and hatred of me...the dreams of suicide are getting clearer...i feel the need to find hope...but no light has shone upon me...my own friend, who was with me and i was on her side, no matter the cost...has abandon me for her own reasons..now i am alone..sad...hopeless.....filled with grief that no one cares that if i die or not...i will be...only a stain in society..a dust...a stone in the ground with R.I.P...a mere shadow to the massive world. As i cry and feel all is lost...in the corner shranked and filled with hate for the world and anger...the wish to destroy it, when suddenly a flash of great magnitude appears before me!! i was stunned! i was shocked!! and with tears of hope i crawl to it only to find...a woman? she looked greatly...she looked magnificent...she looked all the more beautiful then anything i can imagine! i believed that this is a mere joke, for no woman would fall for someone like me...so i spoke to her "whats the use? i cant do anything right..im useless..." she sighed so elegantly and shooked her head gently to and fro. she lifted me up gently and hugged me and kissed me, speaking with kind and wise words in a gentle, light voice.."don't listen to them..to me, i believe you can be anything" she smiled and as i wiped my eyes, something overwhelming filled me. it was with great power...honor!...HOPE!! i felt like i could stop an army by myself!! become a king before the nation, and lead them to victory!! i felt warm and no longer cold...i felt....loved...loved....LOVED!...and she showed me, this woman, what my missing emotion was...love...and now i am complete...and now i have found my love and as well she has...now i am ready for anything this world can deal to me...for i hold a sword of strength and a shield of love and compassion...i am ready...and so is she...

(emotions on my encounter to the love of my life and now my loving woman, Amber)