Mood: Decent.
Song: I can talk - Two Door Cinema
A longer sentence brings no more
Than one that I had said before
It's hard to compromise
When I see through your eyes
It's just a common view
I guess it's lost on you
Just got back from Arizona today.
Two weeks until Brianna Cheyenne gets here.
Jasmine asked me a question I wasn't really expecting,
"You aren't going to drop me while she's here, right?"
Well of course not! Who do these people I think??
I found a lot of new bands recently <3
I loveee love love Phoenix!
Addicted, I swear. Everytime I heard them on the road trip I just got so excited.
(:
I was about to have an amazing night back home,
Get wasted as ******** and enjoy myself,
BUT NOOO.
"come home you have work tomorrow."
******** my life.
dude i haven't had much more than a shot in a while.
I tried this drink called Ansitheb or something along those lines,
It's illegal as mess in the states because it's basically LSD in a bottle hahah.
I was so stoked to trip out on that, but I really couldn't down it that well.
I guess you could say I'm not a fan of black twizzler taste haha.
I feel very relaxed after that trip.
The last couple days when I was in Tennessee I just spent relaxing and prepping myself for an annoying flight home.
I've noticed lately when I see couples it doesn't really make me feel anything.
Except that I want someone to hold my hand.
That's about it.
I don't recognize this person as a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'
just someone to hold my hand when it seems appropriate,
Or even when it doesn't.
I've been having weird dreams lately,
Where they feel so real.
It's always with people I know.
Not some stranger.
That confuses me.
Once was Brett,
Then Connor. He called me Paige in his dream so I guess I was Paige LOL.
That was really awkward.
Then there was Danielle.
Brianna.
Jasmine.
I wonder why these dreams keep happening.
I don't really like them.
They make me feel weak to this thing called 'love.'
Now whole heartedly I give 'love' a big ******** you.
I've learned quite quickly it's not worth my time and anyone trying to offer it probably isn't either.
I know I'm not in the right state of mind to even bother getting serious with anyone.
I'm back in that fickle part of life where I just want to run away.
I wonder how long it'll last before I'm at that stage,
where I'm 'emotionally avaliable.'
I kind of hope never.
Part of me never wants to be tied down.
It seems so stupid.
Plus seeing these obsessive girls and boys?
Makes me cringe.
And yet it makes me laugh.
Because I was that way only a year ago.
So obsessive.
But I was blind and stupid.
And I know I couldn't help myself.
But now I can.
And that's what matters.
And I will help myself.
I'm going to avoid love as best I can,
Because trust me,
Anyone after my heart is probably just out to break it.
(:
I've learned so much from past relationships,
All I had to do was accept them for what they were,
And now I know,
Not everyone you fall for is good for you.
Not everyone you trust is really worth trusting.
Not everyone you care about cares about you.
Not everyone you want wants you.
Not everyone tells the truth.
Majority of the people I surround myself with like to cheat on their loves.
Whores are bad.
And I'm not a whore.
(:
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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
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