Tomorrow is my first day of grade 12. I'm super excited to see everyone, Its been really lonely home all by myself all summer. I want to go shopping and get a good pair of jeans for tomorrow, all my jeans fit kinda funny and its getting cold out already so no more shorts for meee. I did get this really cute sweater yesterday. I also made sugar skulls with my sister while watching the Halloween tree. It was awesome. The sugar skulls sucked but the bonding was cool. I've also decided not to force myself to like C. I feel like since I liked him for a majority of the year last year I've been driving myself crazy over someone who I don't think likes me back, which isn't fair to me. I just feel way too nervous about dating still. Which is kinda weird since most girls my age are all boy crazy, but growing up in a house with only girls has made guys a completely foreign thing for me. I have lots of guy friends, and I will like a guy as more than a friend from time to time, but the idea of actually having a relationship with them that is more than a friend makes me so nervous I stop liking them. I think it also has a lot to do with the relationship I have with my mom. I don't tell her anything personal about myself, and vise versa. She doesn't know any of my friends, she doesn't know that I've dated anyone or anything like that. So the idea of having a real relationship with someone and having to tell my mom about that or maybe having her meet them reaalllyy stresses me out and I don't want to have to do that. To be honest, once I turn 18 I'm out of this house and I probably won't come back for a LONG time. I don't want to have to talk to her. It may sound cruel, but I just don't enjoy the relationship we have and neither of us is going to put in the effort to make it better. We're so different and its been like this for so long it honestly seems like a lost cause. Tah-tah for now~
PoshTotti · Wed Aug 31, 2011 @ 08:40pm · 0 Comments |