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Nayfins journal
A childs journal
Both sides(Title still in progress but that'll do I suppose)
Damian = Other side of Nathan
Other world = Like Heaven anything can happen all happy ect
This chapter is deep within the book and is the only chapter I've done so far. But I thought of it while taking a shower in my nans magic shower XD
Everyone is named after their nick names and is at their proper ages.
Most likly really corny or I think so neutral
Is more of a corny anime XD



"Don't you see? In the other world everone can do exactly what they want!" said Damian "And you've told me that how many times?" replied Nathan throwing his fist into Damiens face only to be grabbed and have himself twisted round, with which he bit his teeth into Damians arm keeping him into a headlock. "You always wanted to do what you want to be what you want!" shouted Damian kicking Nathan's face, sending him into a nearby wall. "You can be a child again and never go through any problems you will always be happy!" Nathan got up and lunged at Damian who jumped away and countered sending Nathan back into the wall. "I won't be happy as long as my darkness exsists." Damian laughed "I am not even apart of you anymore. Just give in, death only hurts for a second, and then all will be happy. I don't know whats on the other side but I do know that for sure." He laughed his insane laugh again, his eyes fixed into Nathan's eyes Light and Dark staring each other in the face. "And what about you? You just going to kill yourself?" Damian stopped his assalt he didn't know what to think, he put his hands up to his head and let out a blood curling scream, Nathan shouted through his rant "You see!!?? You never wanted to die! You wanted things to be perfect, things can't ever be perfect, your plan doesn't make sence!!!" Damian looked down his hair brushing against his eyes "It doesn't matter, I suppose if I must, I must. Nice try" his voice echoed as if it came from another world, his eyes bulged he looked insane, he picked up his sword left beside him and went for the kill. Nathan got up grabbed it off him while Damian was in his insane trance and stabbed him in his own heart. "egh!" Damian looked down at himself, walked backwards a few steps and fell down the cave's cliff. With his last breath he shouted "Darkness will always be apart of you!"

Nathan got up, bleeding and bruised, he went to find Jared, Jared stood healing his own wounds, he looked at Nathan, into his eyes and new it really was him. He smiled and ran to Nathan hugging him tightly. Nathan reached up and hugged back. "Lets get out of here." said Nathan and together they ran. "Jared I don't care we'll never feel magic and turn to our youths. I don't mind this being the end of our adventure. Im am just glad we're friends and we have been able to see each other." Jared nodded and they came to the cave's bridge, only wide enough for single file walking. Nathan walked forwards first, as they did something odd happened, the bridge broke in two, Jared and Nathan seperated. Nathan grabbed Jared's hand and the bridge split further apart. Both Nathan and Jared fell through the gap, Nathan grabbed the edge with his free hand, holding Jared tightly with the other, both of them shouted for help. "Ugh! Your too heavy, I'm not letting...go!" Jared held on "I don't want you to die as well, let me go." He said faintly. Nathan shouted, not only from his mouth but his heart too "NO!" Suddenly the most magical thing happened. Both the adult and the teenager changed form, and turned into young boys. It was easy now, all he had to do was lift Jared and himself up, but he was too purplexed at what was happening.

"So..." Said a fimilier evil voice. Nathan looked up and screamed. There, flying just above both the boys; was Damian, but he was diffrent, he looked totally the same, but with huge black wings spawning out of his back. "So I see, there is magic from the other world also in this world. In that case, change of plan. I'll create the passage of power and create this world into the land of oppitunity! All shall be at my command, all shall be happy, all will have what they want and those who go wrong shall be destroyed and wiped from exsistence. He laughed again as Nathan gained sence and tried to get him and Jared onto the bridge. "It doesn't sound perfect to me." Nathan said as he and Jared climbed up, both standing and staring at Damian. "Who really will be happy at your command? Even if you make some people happy it doesn't last forever, what about those people miss? They can't be brought back from the dead. And if you killed us all and sent us to that world, it wouldn't be perfect, no life on earth? That just don't feel right. And me, as long as you exsist I'll never be happy, light can live with dark but only as one. And light is stronger!"

Damian got bored of his speech fast, "If you don't agree, and you won't be happy. Then you can just DIE!!!" he raised his fist, a ball began to glow in his hand, and he conjured fire from nothing. From the sidelines of the cave, Fel and the others stood watching, fearing, praying. "How can this happen?" said Shmoogy. "Magic...exsists." said Fel under his breath. Suddenly Nero came down, holding the sniper the archeologist and his men dropped and aimed it. He had never done this before and didn't like the idea of fireing such a big weapon. He aimed, he stalled "Shoot!!" shouted Tugger who noticed him there, and he did. He fired and missed Damian by an inch, he fired again once more missing and then once more, he fired and hit his target dead in the center.

Damian was hit back slightly, he coughed, looked up and instantly shot his fireball down at Nathan and Jared, who both fell to their deaths. "Mwahahaha!" he laughed deeply "Why do you resist? If you all came with me then none of this would happen." "If we came with you. We'd be all dead." shouted Gash. "Why of course not anymore. We are standing on the land of oppotunity right now." replied Damian coldly.

"Your insane!" Half of them shouted. "How could you do this!" shouted Fel finally "How could you just kill two innocent boys?" Damian looked annoyed "Oh please! They were full grown men, one a teenager..." "But deep inside they were children and you saw what they just became." Fel said cutting off Damians words. "Your just insane, you don't know what your doing. You can't be happy all the time, you just have to live with it. Eventually we all pass away and we become part of a new world! But to kill now and forget? How are we supposed to live? You can't kill us too. Someone else would just miss us! Then someone would miss them if you killed them. Doesn't sound very happy to me!" Damian had heard enough "In that case you all shall die, and I shall have what I want. Its not what you want its what I want!!!" he yelled with his head in his hands again. Jack nodded "insane..." he said, "So this is the end? How pointless you are." "SILENCE!!!" shouted Damian finally "All of you DIE!!!"

"Not if I can help it" A heavenly voice yelled. From the pits of the bottemless cave a huge white light emerged striking into Damians chest, there now with white wings formed out of his back, was the teenage boy Nathan, holding Jared at his youth in his left arm and his right pushing Damian into the wall. "Enough is enough, everyone thinks your insane, happiness is not something you can buy. You don't exsist your just apart of my anger I once had. I'm going to get rid of you once and for all!" Nathan said silently putting Jared in Fels arms. Before Nathan flew back up, he smiled down at them all. Ryou reached his hand out, then put it down carefully, a tear glinting in his hite, his lip bitten, he held Jessica up who was full of tears, fists clenched she nodded to Nathan who nodded back. "You can't kill me, as long as you have even the speck of darkness in you, I exsist, no one is perfect no one is pure." Damian said. "And neither is your land" shouted Nathan "And if I can't kill you then I'll lock you up, you shall be only a memory, and whatever darkness in me stays within me and not out me. But I am sure good shall triampth." Jack was thinking how they both went on and on and how it was so corny. Still tears in a few eyes but they all looked determan and angry, shooting glares of death towards Damian. Jack had enough "Nathan, just kick his a**. Your the good guy hes the bad, he is insane, his plans won't work and its only for him, we get it!"

Nathan nodded and grinned, both his and Damians eyes connected, both at the ready, Damian flew out of the crack of the caves roof. "Come! It is better out here where there is more space to spread our wings." Nathan began to fly untill Jared called his name."After dis" Jared said in infant tounge "Will we see each other again?" Nathan nodded his wings fluttered "course we will, not even the ocean will keep me away no more." He said with a wink. Jack shouted "GO!" getting more inpatient, and with that Nathan flew into the open and got ready for the final battle...






User Comments: [6] [add]
Feloneus_Hellion_Crimson
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commentCommented on: Mon Apr 24, 2006 @ 04:38pm
Well, this is obviously an excerpt. So lots of details are confusing, since it's lacking explanation. As a story, the theory itself is interesting. However, why did Damian and Nathan change? What brought on their transformation? It hints at their deaths, but that's not definite. I'm just wondering how that came along.

Now here's the grammar Nazi part. twisted

Your paragraph structure leaves a lot to be desired. When you're writing a story, there should be a paragraph break whenever a new person is talking. Clumping it all up like that is very confusing. There are a few occasions when you don't need to change the paragraph, but that's just if, for example, another character picks up on what the speaking person is saying.

There's spelling errors here and there, but nothing to pull my hair out over.

All in all, I can picture it as an anime, definitely. Or even a video game!


commentCommented on: Mon Apr 24, 2006 @ 04:40pm
I don't believe it.....


I WAS IN A STORY!!!!

That was good. Inspired me to conitnue my Blade fan fiction. And Fel raises some good points. Not in a bad way.



[.Nero.]
Community Member
Nayfin
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Apr 24, 2006 @ 07:35pm
Indeed you are ^_^

I kinda rushed a little as I wanted to get it done.

I like this chapter and yeah lots more explained in other chapters..or I'll make it into an RPG if I can download RPG maker XP for free

I think I may just make a few extra paragraphs were there is dialog clumped together 3nodding


commentCommented on: Tue Apr 25, 2006 @ 05:00pm
kewlies i think i missed one part cuz the last 1 i saw wz u & jared as kids so i will hav to read back but gd story <o_o>



Deredon911
Community Member
Nayfin
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Apr 25, 2006 @ 06:35pm
Its a diffrent story stare


commentCommented on: Sat Apr 29, 2006 @ 11:29pm
-pokes Fel.- Yay! I was in a story! ^^ Why was I sobbing in Ryou's arms? Lol I think that your story is da bomb. I love it Nathan, good job, im so proud of you darling.



L.I.T.T.L.E`S.P.A.R.R.O.W
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User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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