Hello all.
Long time no see.
My mind has been pretty murky as of late so I haven't had the energy to post much.
If you're not in the mood to write about things you like,
then it'll be very clear to the reader that something is off.
That's what I like to think anyways haha
My mind is quite foggy right now and I have been taking some time to tend to it.
This is just me
(well the idea came from a book I read years ago called Seraphina by Rachel Hartman which I highly recommend you guys read),
but I have a few "rooms" in my mind.
These "rooms" can be actual rooms, but some of them are environments
like a sandy beach, a small cottage in the middle of an open meadow,
or a legitimate dark room with no doors or windows.
I would visit each area and tend to it.
Tending usually requires me to take care of the area.
If the beach is filled with trash in the sand or ocean,
I will clean it up until everything is pristine again.
I will then spend some time relaxing there before moving on to the next location.
Each location requires differently types of care.
The cottage has little creatures which are personifications of
my emotions such as anxiety, anger, and fear.
I would either have to calm anxiety or anger and
soothe my fear until the area is a nice warm homely feeling.
The dark room is a very sad and dark place and requires
a lot of effort to care for it. There are a few other areas,
some new and some old but they all require my attention
because each one represents me.
Now that might be a difficult concept to grasp but each area
was a safe space I created for myself when an event in my
life was too overwhelming and I need somewhere to just take care of my mind.
So I created these areas to take care of myself during those tough times.
It first started with the beach.
The time of day never changes in these areas and the beach is always night.
That might sound scary but it is always a full moon so it is a soothing and
calming night with the waves gently splashing against the sand.
The sand is still warm and very comforting to lie down and rest.
This was my first safe space for me to go to whenever I have a
panic attack and it has helped me immensely.
The open meadow with the cottage developed during a session with my therapist.
This area is always either during the sunrise or sunset so it's a nice warm orange hue.
This area is where I take care of the personifications of my emotions as well as "me".
The meadow, the grass, the one lone tree, and even the house are all "me" and I have to make sure I take care of ALL of it.
Color and texture are a HUGE deal here and if everything is softer and
smoother then that means my mental state is doing well.
If everything is prickly, sharp, and hard then I am not in a good mental state.
Color is important too because it's such a bright place with nature,
a warm summer breeze, and beautiful flowers all around.
Bright colors all around so if everything is dark and black then I am NOT doing well.
I'm rambling a bit, but essentially these rooms are all a part of me and
this is a way for me to take care and really try to love myself which has
been an on-going process for many years.
It's quite helpful for me to take some time out of the day just for
myself since my mind is always on something else.
Anyways, I guess that's an update on me as well as telling a very convoluted and TMI explanation on how I take care of myself LOL
Hope you guys are well and happy.
Apologizes for any misspellings and grammatical errors and if things don't make sense.
I didn't edit this lol
~Noi
Long time no see.
My mind has been pretty murky as of late so I haven't had the energy to post much.
If you're not in the mood to write about things you like,
then it'll be very clear to the reader that something is off.
That's what I like to think anyways haha
My mind is quite foggy right now and I have been taking some time to tend to it.
This is just me
(well the idea came from a book I read years ago called Seraphina by Rachel Hartman which I highly recommend you guys read),
but I have a few "rooms" in my mind.
These "rooms" can be actual rooms, but some of them are environments
like a sandy beach, a small cottage in the middle of an open meadow,
or a legitimate dark room with no doors or windows.
I would visit each area and tend to it.
Tending usually requires me to take care of the area.
If the beach is filled with trash in the sand or ocean,
I will clean it up until everything is pristine again.
I will then spend some time relaxing there before moving on to the next location.
Each location requires differently types of care.
The cottage has little creatures which are personifications of
my emotions such as anxiety, anger, and fear.
I would either have to calm anxiety or anger and
soothe my fear until the area is a nice warm homely feeling.
The dark room is a very sad and dark place and requires
a lot of effort to care for it. There are a few other areas,
some new and some old but they all require my attention
because each one represents me.
Now that might be a difficult concept to grasp but each area
was a safe space I created for myself when an event in my
life was too overwhelming and I need somewhere to just take care of my mind.
So I created these areas to take care of myself during those tough times.
It first started with the beach.
The time of day never changes in these areas and the beach is always night.
That might sound scary but it is always a full moon so it is a soothing and
calming night with the waves gently splashing against the sand.
The sand is still warm and very comforting to lie down and rest.
This was my first safe space for me to go to whenever I have a
panic attack and it has helped me immensely.
The open meadow with the cottage developed during a session with my therapist.
This area is always either during the sunrise or sunset so it's a nice warm orange hue.
This area is where I take care of the personifications of my emotions as well as "me".
The meadow, the grass, the one lone tree, and even the house are all "me" and I have to make sure I take care of ALL of it.
Color and texture are a HUGE deal here and if everything is softer and
smoother then that means my mental state is doing well.
If everything is prickly, sharp, and hard then I am not in a good mental state.
Color is important too because it's such a bright place with nature,
a warm summer breeze, and beautiful flowers all around.
Bright colors all around so if everything is dark and black then I am NOT doing well.
I'm rambling a bit, but essentially these rooms are all a part of me and
this is a way for me to take care and really try to love myself which has
been an on-going process for many years.
It's quite helpful for me to take some time out of the day just for
myself since my mind is always on something else.
Anyways, I guess that's an update on me as well as telling a very convoluted and TMI explanation on how I take care of myself LOL
Hope you guys are well and happy.
Apologizes for any misspellings and grammatical errors and if things don't make sense.
I didn't edit this lol
~Noi
