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[There is no title because that's life]
I found myself staring off into space last night, not really listening to the television that blinded me, or the tugs of my husbands arms as he pulled me into him. I began to think. To think of how my life was going to change, for the best, or the worst of this lifetime. For all of you who do not know, I am and have always been the responsible one in my family, watching out for the life of others as well as for myself. But in all actuallity, I have always put myself behind everyone else, most of the times not for the better, just so that I didn't have to hear it in the end.
So a few nights ago I get a phone call, that I am needed to come and take my neice and nephew, all the rest of that information is left to my closest and dearest friends. (Schev, Dark, Moi, Max and Sin- as well as probably Neon and Wrat) These children, I love with all of my heart, they are my blood, my family, but their parents. Well, let's say we have not been in loving terms. I will always love my brother because he is my brother, and no matter what, the God and Goddess have taught me to love my own blood, through thick and thin. However, I do not like him very much, I do not approve of him or his girlfriends lifestyles and I do not think they are capable parents in their current situation. Not that they couldn't possibly one day be great parents they are just selfish and do not put their children first. So anyway, here I am, the nearly 22 year old mother of two, the younger sibling, taking care of my niece and nephew. It will be a long road, being that it may be from anywhere between 5 months and 5 years, and not that I am willing to take it on, for in my faith, everything happens for a reason and everything happens three folds, I believe that my brothers life was semi cursed and the more wrong they did, the more bad followed them. You can expect your life to be simple, and handed to you on a silver platter, when you have done nothing in this life to earn it. Work hard for what you get, earn it, take care of yourself and of your family, but never keep giving to people who don't deserve it. As far as I am concerned I wasn't the person that put my brother and his girlfriend in the situation they are in, I won't be the one to get them out of it. Their children are more important to me because they need the help, the love, the good support from a good parenting outlet. They need someone to take care of them without messing up and sleeping all the time and ignoring the good of them. These children no nothing of disipline, they expect everything and they don't eat healthy. They don't know rules and they are extremely unscheduled but I feel a few weeks with me that will change. For the time being I will be on and off of gaia, who knows how long, or when. I will behere to post for a while, and I love every one of you. You all are my home away from home, my getaway and I will still be here to organize the guilds charities and the guilds funds and the guilds themselves. I will be here to roleplay from time to time, but I rise at 6 and I go to bed by 11. That is my life now, so that I can be capable of being a good wife and mother, not just of two anymore, but of four. My life will be changing.
Velvet
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