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Reikurai's Journal
I'm using this for pictures and poems I find
Intro
This is basically the Introduction to a manga idea I had and I'm bored so I'm going to type it for no reason.

There is only so far one can go on living one way while calling herself a failure. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Daily hearing the word ring in your ear can drive anyone crazy. Pretty soon you get tiered of being insane and just one more failure ringing through the mind can crush the victim’s resolve. They then except the word and give up on everything else. A living failure. To become a failure you must lose everything. So of course, the beginning is painful.
~Flash back~
A girl is running home, she has problems opening the door. "Come on.... COME ON! OPEN!” The door crashes in and she closes the door. As if
she had opened a gateway, tears poured down her face and she cried out in desperation. Her voice immediately went horse with the force of her cries but she kept crying. Her knees gave in and she sank to the floor. Now that no one could see her she let it all out. "I could take anything." she thought,” I could take the pressure. I could take the mental attacks. I could take physical abuse; lord knows I did it to myself. But why this? Why when I was finally happy, finally safe? Why someone I respected?” “ WHY!” She suddenly felt a wave of nausea that knocked her to the floor. She crouched holding her stomach until she felt she could not take it anymore. She limped off to the bathroom as fast as she could but she felt dizzy now and she leaned on the wall for support. "Keep calm. Think logically." she thought trying to calm herself down as she threw-up in the toilet. "This is bad. But why? Why did. Everything was so good. What did I do?"
"What's wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? What did I do? Why? Why now? ******** I can't breath!" She gasped for breath as she laid limp on the toilet.
"This happened before. Calm down."
"WHY!"
"Think clearly."
"AHHHH!"
"I CAN'T BREATH!"

You know how you feel when you've used all your energy in one blow. The weariness? It saved me. "I can breath...." That small hiatus gave me breath and quiet sadness in which I could collect my thoughts. This was the 2nd time I couldn't breath when I got too "excited" I had guessed the last time it was stress but now I was throwing up. But of course I didn't think about that, no I thought of the situation that got me into this. And all I could hear was "pathetic...failure." I still couldn't stop the pain that stabbed me. Failure, why? Because I am.
You're a failure
"No I'm not."
You're a failure.
"No."
Failure
"N-"
Failure
Failure!
"Maybe I am."
Not every failure tries to go on after accepting the fact. A lot don't care to go on after accepting the fact. Most don't care to hang on to the thread of life. But for those who desperately cling on to the life line, they have to endure pain, both physical and mental. Back in reality they figure out that the world kept spinning, ignoring their agonizing change. Society doesn't understand this change. Those around them don't understand. Some get mad, some ignore, and others gossip. But in the end they all give up and leave the failure alone. The ultimate price is paid to gain the ultimate prize, or is it? Is a life free from hardships, problems, and challenges worth friendship, love, and feeling? They put themselves into a sad illusion and live out their miserable life thinking "I'm happy." with a tear falling from their face. A living failure lives it's life with a faint glimmer of flame, one in which a small breeze could snuff. And thus the failure leaves the world as a failed project. And thus we end our story, or do we? Is their any hope for these sad failures? Hope. can hope destroy this endless circle? Can our hypothesis be wrong? Can one outstretched hand pierce the failures defenses?
Let the song bird sing.





I know it's kind of hard to read, but due to the character's frantic and confussed mind I tried to make the writing confused as well to fit her mood. I also believe that it's easier to read this with the pictures due to the fact that the pictures help to explain her thinking process for example when she's talking about the failures that don't hold on to the life line she's talking about those who comit suicide for this reason. But anyways there it is, I wrote this 3 years ago so my spelling and grammer weren't top notch so forgive me on that aspect, I tried to fix it.






User Comments: [4] [add]
Reikurai
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commentCommented on: Thu Jan 18, 2007 @ 09:00pm
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commentCommented on: Sat Jul 07, 2007 @ 11:35pm
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Reikurai
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Reikurai
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commentCommented on: Sat Sep 08, 2007 @ 10:47pm
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