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Nothing more could go wrong.
Especially when you have people who are always disappointed.
In either yourself or a broken promise. You can't help it if something happens that you'd like to change around..
But of course, people get upset at you when you forget to do something you promised, or show something they've been waiting to see for forever.
I haven't stopped thinking about this stupid conversation I had, and I seriously just wanna take back that promise and tell them to wait another millenia.
Who cares if sports tires me out? Who was the one who told me that in order to make new friends i had to do other activities? and look where swimming got me. I have alot more people I know around the school then you think now. I have alot more friends, and alot more people who smile at me.
Am I the only one who keeps showing i have high expectations for myself, but am unable to reach them?
Swimming is done in 2 weeks. I'll be done for the year. I think. Unless I swim year-round for the baracuda's...
Then I can sit around and do whatever, and watch my friends do sports WITH THEIR friends.
You know what I know that i wish i didn't?
I wish I wasn't so jealous of that. It could be I'm just suffering from major withdrawl right now, but who cares.
I might as well just "get a tougher skin." But it's really hard right now.
oh well, it's just another damn excuse, isn't it. I'm only talking to myself. Seriously. Where are my brighter sides? Where can I look to that has a GOOD thing about me?
And I WOULD say my drawings, but people get upset over that too, or someone's always telling me about this BETTER artist than I am.
Like I care? I have my own attributive art techniques, and don't need to be compared to someone who is older and has more experience in that field. I just draw because it makes me happy.
Maybe that's why. MAYBE because of my withdrawl from writing poetry, suckily singing my heart out, and drawing my fantasies, I have moved inside my head until then.
Oh well. Hopefully I'll get it scanned before they get on. I don't wanna disappoint anyone any longer.
I've already disappointed my family.
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