Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

jeez, i feel so mentally retarded right now, I love my early christmas present, a passage red tail hawk named G'nu, but I still feel so depressed lately. I won't harm myself or anything, not that sort of depressed. It's just that feeling that you just want to disapear and have everyone forget you even existed. How nice that would be... or perhaps to start over. I used to wish I could start my life over, but now that I think back on that, I realize how shitty my life would probably be even if I changed what I could for the best.

Ah well, I've most likely got it so easy compared to everyone else's crap, but... Sometimes I wish I could drift into a dream and never wake up, just dream for the rest of my life, where I could fly, and run as I pleased, I'd like that... to be able to fly, or run endlessly without tiring... I hardly ever get to dream, but those few times are like a taste of heaven, so wonderful, too wonderful that it could never last and you feel like crying when you realize you've woken up and that amazing world is out of reach once more.

I wish I lived in a dream...