..sigh.. life keeps getting harder. Don't mean to complain, but sometimes you just need to. like now. when its been caged up so tight you think you'll stop breathing and fall down and down into the chasm of your emptiness that consumes you soul. He still won't talk to me..my friend...or maybe now...ex-friend..it kinda hurts to think about him..reliving old memories seem to cause more pain, like adding fuel to the fire...but..I guess...pain means your alive and sometimes without pain there's no way to tell if you really are alive or just there...to be kicked and knocked down because you can't feel..or don't seem to. I don't know what's happening to everything that I was knew...but..I almost wish..things were the way they were back then...everyone was happy then...but now...so much hurt and sorror seem to just manifest itself even greater now that the happiness is disappearing...sure, some people are happy still, they maybe happy for the longest time, but who knows how long happiness lasts now..
-Part of a line from song called "Almost"-
Almost had you
but I guess that didn't cut it
Almost had you
and I didn't even know it
Almost had you
and I almost wish you would of love me too.
If you couldn't tell, depression has set in upon me. I've been so far own it feels like it will take eternity to come back up and regain anything close to what I have lost..there's that happiness thing creeping up again. I just seem to keep writing..and writing..I guess it helps when you're angry or sad...it just seems to flow from your fingertips to the page and you can't seem to stop what your doing until its all over and then you look upon what you have done and wonder if you should keep it or just throw it away..
Life to me is slowly becoming idiotic, like a children's game that no one wants to play anymore because it starts to become so pointless you just want it to end but people keep playing it anyways because they just can't seem to let themselves stop.
One last thing..if you love someone..truly love someone let them know or they might leave you even though they might love you still..they will want to talk to you and want you to be in their life still but it causes you so much pain to see them with someone else that you just want to scream and cry til there's nothing left inside that needs to be shed and then you'll probably wish you could just lay down, close your eyes, and die because the pain seems to much to bear..but no fears...you will survive the next ay unless you throw your life away..remember this though..its much harder to live then to die..but once you die..there might have been no point in you living if you just recklessly decided to end it..it may be tough..but suicide is not the solution to problems..sure..at the time you might think that the problems you caused will end if your gone but they won't...they'll just get worse for the people you left behind..the people who love and care about you..even if it seems like the whole world hates you...remember..that its more heroic to live then to fall down, give up, and die in that single instant...
View User's Journal
Shadow of a Dream
Never meant to.
(poem)
hello stranger
nice to see you
did I tell you
that I still need you?
ripped apart at the seams
Guess it was never meant to be
Falling down
easier then getting up
Pushed and shoved
and so ******** up
Hello again..
Community Member