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Rain falls once more,
its touch makes small noise at my window.
To open the window up,
would allow it inside,
so I sit and contemplate and stare at its gentle touch.

A child laughs as he dances in it,
he is soaked to the bone.
But he continued to bounce and bound,
full of joy unbound...

Why is it that such weather brings out emotions,
that would range so greatly?
To me it brings sadness through rememberance,
but to him it brings him joy...

Is it through life experiances,
that makes me this way?
Or is it his escape?
His chance to play...

My mind longs to be out there with him,
a chance to forget about it all.
But I know that once the rain stops,
the thoughts will chill me like the rain would...

He stops, disappointed that rain stops as well,
the sun glaring through.
The rays drawing the water back up,
warming the air that was so recently cooled...

But no amount of sun could take this away,
no amount of healing could.
My eyes have seen too much to ignore,
my mind absorbing more than one could ever bear...

He spots me and smiles,
waving a young, untouched hand.
I pretend to smile and wave back to him,
not showing him the pain that he brought on...

How naive he must be,
to enjoy the rain as such.
But could the naive one be me?
To hold onto these memories?

They are the only things I have,
of friends and family long gone.
To give them up would be like this knife,
that is still stemmed in my gut...

They are happy,
I know this.
But how could they be happy where they are?
Knowing that I am wallowing in their despair?

Perhaps I am not so naive as I thought,
I am helping others after all.
Helping them deal with their pain,
unable to help myself with mine...

These memories will be, here, with me always,
no matter how much they try to go away.
The pages still turn in life's book,
my reminder that my life continues on...

So as much as the sun will try,
I still appreciate its touch.
But no matter how warm it may be,
it cannot take these thoughts of my "friends" away...