[Title :: My soul whispers to me...]
Dramatic title, I know. But it's on my mind most of the time, and I hope posting an entry here about this subject will.. quiet it, at least a little. I'm not sure how to word it, though, so bear with me..
My soul whispers something to me, when i'm quiet and still enough. It tells me about all these past lives it's been through.. All these pains, these pleasures, and it's trying to tell me something about them all. But I can't make it out.. I can't make out what possible importance there would be for me to know -now-, in this life, but it's such a solid feeling.
It whispers to me, promises I made myself in the afterlife. Promises to -remember- now. I can just.. feel it, screaming vows to me, but I just can't -get- it. It's maddening. All these promises to make this life better, to do better this time than last time. Promises that i'm certain i'm breaking..
I can just see this random, rare flash of some person - a woman - dying, and swearing to carry the memory of ***** into this life, no matter what. This is what my soul whispers, screams, to me - constantly. I don't know.. it might just be the schizophrenia. But it does feel different.. What, if anything, was I promising to tell myself in this life? Ugh.
That's not all, though. The ideas of past-lives always echo in my head. "Was I this person? Was my life like that?" Obscure persona's in obscure times. Why should it matter, though? That was then, and this is now. But I can't help but want to cling to that. I guess it's just human curiosity about oneself.. Bugh~ Enough.