Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I guess... it's time for me to recollect my memories, where to begin.. here are all my journal entries from previous accounts


"Occasional drops of rain fall to the ground from a sky grey with pregnant clouds. All about hems in this place a circle of ancient trees whose primeval age could not be discerned save by one with the power of knowing. Mistletoe drapes arching boughs, hoary with shaggy-barked aged, and sets bright-eyed berries to studying the emerald clearing down below their gentle sway. A tiny expanse of neatly trimmed grass which is flung about with a myriad array of star-like blossoms. Within that crystalline water can be seen almost anything by those with the key to vision, and here pervades an air of hushed awe unlike the glooming darkness which prevades the rest of the forest." (Inner Sanctum) --Eb

Waiting in the middle of the night, sitting on the edge of a cold porch, the only light came from the stars and moon, sitting there, it was 50 it was the perfect temperature for me, every one else says I am crazy, I could sit out there forever, if night ever lasted that long. My pale skin burns easily in the sun, so I try to avoid it as much as possible, every night before I leave for bed I walk outside and make sure I can see the sky one last time before I fall asleep. I feel connected to my home, to the people around me more than ever, but lately it had become hard to concentrate, it seems like I can hardly write anything down in my book, yet alone concentrate on anything else. Every time I think I have a new idea, I go to write it down, but find myself picking up a blank piece of paper. Soon this will pass, I hope, just for now, I think I need to take a break to relax a little.

"Taking one step at a time even though you cannot see the top it will eventually get you there." -Eb


"The saving man become the free man." - Eb

I will be leaving gaia for a very long while as I will be moving soon, see everyone later.
"There is good in some evil. There has been light where there is now dark and there shall be once again. There was life before there was death. And yet, I can never think of anything positive to say about you." -Eb

Hello everyone I am back, there sure have been alot of changes to gaia while I have been gone... if anyone is out there reading this then feel free to PM me or shout back at my profile... For all my close friends, that thing about the getting stabbed 32 times that you may have heard about from my dad, I did NOT die from that -.- and yes, we found that person and they are locked up now.
"Those who spend all their time talking will have no time to think." -Eb

So much can change in a single instant, and people can change too, so much is to say that I have changed, so much for the better... and so much has happened in the time I have been gone... too much to tell... I walk by places where me and old friends used to hang out and almost laugh but then sigh, the world seems bigger and I just seem less and less important, I guess that is what growing up is... heh but don't worry that hasn't changed who I am, I am still the music freak who loves anime and zelda and loves to talk to his friends and most surely hates rap with an overwhelming passion! So don't worry about that.
HAHA! I just took the "ARE YOU NORMAL QUIZ" and I got "Unique." riiiiiight.
<.< >.> ^.> <.^ >.^ ^.< ^.^

"The opposite side also has an opposite side." -Eb

I can't think really, when so much goes through ones head at once it becomes really hard to focus... I go into deep trances, thinking of the deeper thoughts and meanings behind every word one might have... the endless possibilities of ones life afflicting the sort of everyday task or simple words that are so common... We live in a world with so much shrouded, blackmail, hate and anger towards anything we dislike, a closed-minded society with no care for our past and no true vision of the future all but charity workers grabbing money like candy to speak like they give a damn... We work jobs we don't like to buy things we don't need and the poor suffering peoples of the world strangle themselves to sleep with dry throats and stomachs ripping them from the inside out starved from hunger and hardship, disease and madness. This is not what I cannot stand most of all, we still have hobos on the streets in the united states, and we are trying to save the dying people of Zazariamunchup-land when we don't have a place for these poor people to do a decent days work to help our own people, and so they can buy to eat and cloth themselves as well, and raise children in a healthy society like the rest of us secretly dream. A single moderate error of treachery or maybe it is... greed... that slowly tears us farther and farther apart. Our individuality isn't madness but our own cure for this junction. Hm... sorry about the rant everyone! I know it's lame...

So I am just sitting around here back at home... listening to fleetwood mac, the eagles, Harvey danger, metallica, anything that pops into my head that I feel like listening to, the background filled with the sound of a roaring fire in the fireplace, my feet are pretty cold since I went out barefoot to get the wood... but I am pretty bored, and paranoid, as I always get when I miss the bus, I have no way to get to school so this happens on occasion and it kinda ticks me off because now I am going to get in trouble...

"Either do not begin or, having begun, never give up." -Eb

Something has been bothering me... though I can't exactly put my finger on it, it is almost summer now and this heat is killing me... I used to being able to see my breath on the air and a cold sting when I open the door in the morning, the splash of a puddle in my footfalls and a warm breeze staying with me in the cold days, this heat is overwhelming... I can't wait for summer though, I am not one to complain when I don't have school, I can hang out with my nerd friends, play quake arena in the bottom floor of a lakeside building with a 7 computer multilayer setup, go boating, swimming, partying with my friends, walking around doing nothing because we just have the time, I wounder if me and my friends will always be this close... I just know that when we get older and get jobs and family that we will grow apart.. I just can't stand thinking that.. so I am trying to think of something big, something really exciting that will make this summer the best summer ever... something that will bring back clear memories 40 years later and we can all laugh... hm... anyways...
I got a new bike yesterday >=D and the 14 year old thing was really badly beaten up, but I patched it up and fixed up the seat and handle bars and speedometer all with a single screwdriver I also took apart a alberstons cart with the screwdriver... it was so funny... only took me two minutes for the entire thing, I am trying to get all of my friends to go with me to my grandfathers this summer! It will totally rock, he owns the lake that he lives on and he has so many boats and stuff! I have so many plans for summer that it is making me unable to focus in school D= I can't wait until school is over!

"Broken hearts are always unsettled." -Eb

Almost my entire life, people avoid talking to me, avoid making rude gestures or remarks to my face, they put me down as much as possible, and push me away, but when I do something new that I think is cool then they all copy me -.- it is annoying... for example... I said I was writing a book earlier this year and almost all of my friends started writing books, and even the people I don't like started writing books, and the people that think they are better than me started writing books, and they all came to me so I can proofread it just to tell them how crappy their writing is... which brings up another thing, I went to gaia's writing forum and I have to say... I was alot more than disappointed... I was expecting a joining of smart creative people who write with colorful wording and drowning environments and characters, with touching, grasping, exciting, story lines and I find people going "Hey... here is an idea... what do you think?" ;_; it sickens me.

With a glance
you loosen the bindings
of the hauberk which guards my heart

with a word
my fortress is taken
and the towers crumble down

with a kiss
I would make you my queen
and amend my evil ways

~The most beautiful song in the play

I am bored. Drinking grape juice. Waiting for morning to come, I might go hang out on the overpass to watch the sun rise or I might just go to bed, I haven't decided yet, as you may have noticed, unlike the other posts on my journal there is no writing under my pen name, that is because I have writers block and my dad is being an a*****e. He won't stop jumping up and hitting me tonight, I don't know what his deal is. He is trying to find a reason to kick me out of the house so don't be surprised if I don't show up on gaia in a little while... I am afraid that I am going to get the crap beaten out of me and I didn't even do anything so I am not going to stick around here and be knocked senseless. See ya friends.

"There is no such thing as a lonely place, there are only lonely people."

Hm.
Is a relationship really just humans nature to solve for loneliness and lack of attention. Some people never find love in there life. Some of them, I knew.
I hear life philosophy and wounder which is right.

It's great to be able to see clear again... I found my glasses.

My dad thinks I am weird... he just now said so.

I wounder if I can draw.
( Y )
( ^^)
( (''')(''')
Bunny.

Hm... I have a brain clog...

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

I'm really stressed out... I forgot why though... my head hurts so much from the stress... it's so annoying... cant do anything right right now...
hmmmmmmm
well... I am bored...

"Sadness and sorrow are blisters at the end of the tounge of madness."

At this point I cannot concentrate.
Frustration grabs my hair. As my eyes tug shut.
Sorrow devours my mind. As beauty causes destruction.
Uncomfortable dry death. As dry as sand in every pore of my skin.
Sickness pulls at the end of my tounge...

I will write something worthwhile later...