Okay, yeah, I know this is ... well... a bit public. But I don't have many other options, huh?
Your name came up today and I got to thinking. I know you told me once that - during our previous period of not talking - you'd check my profile every month or two and see how I was, so maybe you'll see this?
Primarily I wanted to thank you, for not showing up in the AMC so much anymore. Or at least not on an account I know? I know it seems like a silly thing to thank you for, but you broke all of your promises to me toward the end, so the fact that you kept even one trivial one means something to me.
Also, I wanted to let you know... well, you know, I'm never sure if it hurt you more when you thought your absence hurt me, or when you thought I was over it, so I'll just be honest. I wanted to let you know I'm more than fine - I am happy. I don't know if I'm happier now than I was when you were here, but I'm happy all the same.
You were right that I had friends that cared about me. You were right that Yoru and Ero were concerned about me and I would be okay because of them, and that I have friends here in real life to depend on, and really the hole filled faster than I thought it would.
I'm still not happy with what happened. I'm not happy with the things you let her do, or how Zenitsu is now pretty much a permanent (though admittedly kind of hilarious...) hate shrine to me. But I don't want the last things I ever said to you to be out of anger and hate. In the past three and a half years we've been through a lot and I was never lying when I said I wanted you to be happy with or without me.
It's good that you'll go on with your life and I'll go on with mine, but despite everything, and despite how it all happened, I will always be grateful for the part of our lives that overlapped. The bad times were terrible, but the good ones were amazing. And I sincerely wish you luck and happiness with everything. All I ever wanted was to see you happy.
Love, Rae
PS. If you DO see this, please say hi to Bebop sometime? She misses you.
Rae x Rae · Sat Jun 26, 2010 @ 06:11am · 0 Comments |