I learned something today.
I was talking to my therapist about the situation with my old friend, and she made me realize something.
The reason this has gotten to me so much - the reason why I got so sad over the idea that a long term, close (past?) friend of mine may be ignoring me, is simple.
It's a trigger for me.
I've gone throughout my life with people unintentionally/intentionally cutting themselves out of my lives, through circumstance or otherwise. In truth? Part of me has never healed, and I don't know if it will. I hope it does.
The greatest thing a person can give me is closure. Even if it's an "you annoy me so ******** off I don't wanna talk to you ever again," positive or negative, closure is closure.
Some day I hope my fear and memories of being abandoned by some of the people I treasure the most will subside. In the meantime, I'm gonna look out for me. If anyone wants to drop me like dead weight? Good on them. But I'm done crying about it.
