• The room sat silent. Nothing moved, which seemed to suit him fine. Near preferred the world quiet and still when he was thinking. The SPK watched silently from the sidelines, waiting for him to say something. Little finger puppet rested before him, all labeled or at least assigned to someone. One labeled Takada had been set to the side lying beside another, this one with a penned on scar and black clothes. The small name written along it’s chest read Mello. My eyes lingered on that one. What was he thinking? Kidnapping Takada! He’d get himself killed. Even Near seemed to know this wouldn’t lead anywhere pleasant.
    “Please contact L.” Near suddenly requested and I jumped at the name...L Light Yagami had no right to call himself that. “They need to know we had nothing to do with Takada’s kidnapping.”
    While everyone around me turned their attention to the computers, loading up the N Near used to speak through to protect his identity and preparing the voice changer to further protect him. After all, we were fighting Kira, a man who could kill just by seeing that person’s name and face and writings it in his notebook...A Deathnote. Near sat, one knee raised to his chin, the other leg folded beneath him, with his curly blonde hair nearly encompassing his face, staring focused at the finger puppet man held loosely in his hands. Baggy long sleeve shirt and blue jeans seemed to swallow him, but he needed to be comfortable. He didn’t care about looks...just like L. A lump rose in my throat, but I forced it down. I needed to be here for this. He would have wanted me to help Near, maybe even Mello.
    A few steps forwards and I was standing above Near, looking over his shoulder to get a closer view of the toy in his hands. He heard me, but didn’t move, preferring instead to observe my reaction. The puppet had Kira penned on it’s chest and a black mask covering it’s eyes. Wearing a close fitting cap and dawning freckles, he seemed childish to me. I guess that suited who it represented. Kira, L, Light Yagami...They were one in the same. Well, they were now. They hadn’t always been.
    “Light has no right to call himself L.” I growled, barely more then a whisper, but even with the others talking loudly behind us, Near heard me. He always heard me, without fail.
    “I agree.” Was all he said, but it was enough to cause the rock to slide farther down my throat, enough for it to feel normal.
    “Does Lidner know where Mello is?” I asked and Near laid down the L-Kira puppet and reached for Mello’s, holding it with a gentleness only I would recognize. The action wouldn’t have been obvious to anyone who didn’t know Near and very well, but I spotted the care in his movements and felt it in myself.
    “No, I believe he’ll contact L eventually, but until then, she doesn’t know.” He turned the toy in his hands and then placed it next to Takada’s figure once more. The puppet’s all had names (even if they weren’t written on them), save for those holding scythes. They represented the gods of death. The shinigami. Despite knowing a few of their names, Near hadn’t written any of them down. I didn’t even consider asking him why. If it mattered, I’d find out.
    “Are you sure she’s not protecting him?” I chose to push Near farther then he would have liked.
    He wasn’t much younger then me. Eighteen against my nineteen and he knew our age difference had no effect on our conversations. I considered him my equal and he considered me his. It was why I was here and it was also why we often bickered, though Near lacked the anger that fueled an argument. He was too calm and collected. Arguing with Mello at least felt like an argument, actually flowed like one. Near simply debated the problem, surfed through all of the possibilities, and picked the most plausible, the most supported by facts and intuition. Mello had passion when he argued. I occasionally found myself yelling at him simply to argue, to have a change of pace. Near was not an entertaining arguer. At least L had had some passion. Near may dress like him and wear his hair in a style complimenting L’s dark one, but he wasn’t L and never could be.
    “Yes. She leaked information to him, but she wouldn’t protect him. I expected it of her actually. She’s been acting strangely.” He responded in his calm, calculated voice. I rolled my eyes.
    “Just like you.” A smirk spread across his lips.
    “Near,” One of the others at the computer called over and we turned. Though I recognized the square face and short blonde hair (I had seen it everyday for the past year) I’d never bothered to learn his name. I only spoke to Near. He was the only one I ever needed to address.
    “We’ve contacted L and the rest of the Japanese task force.”
    Near reached for his mouth piece and I turned away, black trench coat twisting around my short black boots. The eyes of the others were divided between watching me depart and keeping their attention on Near. I wrapped my hands around the ice cold door handle and began to turn it. Near’s voice caused me to stop. Keeping my eyes fixed on the metal door before me, I waited, listening intently, but knowing what I’d hear.
    “Be careful, Sakura.” My fake name. It sent shivers up my spine. I wanted him to say my real one, the one that belonged to me, the one L had given me when Watari had brought me to the orphanage, when I’d first met my best friends.
    “Kira doesn’t know I even exist, Near. If there’s anyone who needs to be afraid, it’s you. I’ll check in later.”
    An instant later, I had fled outside and entered my car, mildly shaking and tears rising in my eyes, tears that never slipped down my cheek, even when L was murdered by Kira. L never cried, neither would I.
    Driving down that streets of Tokyo can open your eyes to a lot of things. How much Tokyo, all of Japan, perhaps the entire world had changed since Kira’s first murder via heart attack was astounding and always managed to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Did murdering the wicked, those who committed horrible crimes, murder, arson, rape...did that make it right? For a while, I, like the rest of the world, had debated for long hours with this question. As time progressed, people chose sides. Many, perhaps out of fear, perhaps out of admiration, turned to Kira, preaching him like a savior. Criminals began to hide, petrified. Crime rate dropped faster then ever imagined. The world seemed like a better place and for an instant, I considered, while sheltered in mine and L’s home up in the mountains of North America, the possibility that Kira was doing something good...something that should be applauded, not condemned.
    Then Kira killed his only threat, the only one who could make him pay for what he’d done, the countless murders he’d committed...L and my feelings towards Kira would never be the same. A few days after Kira’s worst murder, Near and Mello were informed at Wammy’s house, their orphanage. After thoughts of them working together were brought up, Mello left the orphanage and began to investigate Kira on his own along with a small gang of criminals who had managed to avoid Kira’s gaze. Near had instead veered the opposite direction, choosing to work with the American FBI and CIA to capture him. For Mello, it was about being number one, beating Near. For Near, it was about capturing Kira, bringing L’s murderer to justice.
    I chose to play both sides, mingling with who ever seemed to serve my interests at the time. Mello, being as annoying and complicated as usual, chose to restrict my involvement in his plans and my knowledge in his investigations. It was a foolish move. After that, I’d stopped revealing Near’s plans to him and now he’d kidnapped Takada, a woman who wasn’t only Kira’s spokesperson, but his partial girlfriend. Mello was going to get himself killed.
    Reaching into my bag, I pulled out my cell and dialed Mello’s number. Pick up, damn it. It rung three times and I pulled it from my ear, expecting this reaction. Mello seemed upset with me the last time we had spoken and though I didn’t understand what I had done, he was known to hold a grudge. I placed my hand on the red end call button and froze as the phone picked up on the other end.
    “What do you want, S?” I smiled. At least that was the right letter of my real name. It sounded far better then Sakura.
    “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I spat and heard Mello sigh into the mouth piece.
    “What else do you want me to do, S? Run and hide? I can’t turn back now.”
    “Mello, you’re just going to get yourself killed. You and Takada. Do you think Kira will just let her be with you? He killed the deputy director and he didn’t even know anything! He’ll kill you in a second.”
    “I don’t have any other choice. This woman will get me to Kira. I can avenge L-”
    “Don’t you dare lie to me! Not about L!” I yelled, rage filling me up. A hint of defeat clung to his words. He’d given up. He was welcoming death, desperate for it even. It wasn’t like him. “You’re not doing this for L. You’re doing it to beat Near.”
    “I will be number one.” He declared, sounding awkward saying something so bold with such a depressed tone.
    “You’ll be dead.” I argued.
    “No, I won’t. Kira hasn’t seen my face. Only Soichiro Yagami saw my face and Jose killed him. That’s everyone, even Matt’s dead.”
    “Matt?” Mello’s friend and partner. He’d helped him kidnap Takada. What happened to him?
    “The Japanese police shot him. They said it was after he pulled a gun on them and threatened to shoot them, but that’s a lie. Matt wasn’t that much of an idiot.”
    The contempt stung in his voice even if it wasn’t directed at me. Matt. I’d only really met him briefly, but he’d seemed like someone who I could grow to like. I trusted him to protect Mello, but the expectation had obviously disappeared. He couldn’t defend Mello dead.
    “How’d ya meet M?” It was the first thing Matt had asked me, leaning against the side of a building, a cigarette held between his lips, adjusting his fur lined vest over a black and white striped long sleeve shirt.
    “Grew up with ‘im.” I’d responded, deciding Mello must have told him already anyway and swiping the cigarette from Matt and taking a drag. He rose an eyebrow at me, his dark eyes visible through his goggles. His brown hair reminded me of L’s and I handed him back the cigarette.
    “What are you doing here?” He asked, peeking around the corner, no doubt scanning for Mogi, a member of the Kira Task Force from Japan. Mello asked him to tail him and he’d been forced to watch him do absolutely nothing for the past couple of days.
    “Just checking up on him. How is he?” He shrugged.
    “You were there when the SPK attacked the headquarters. What do ya think of the scar?” I copied his shrug and stole his cigarette again, enjoying his amused look. I wasn’t what he’d expected. Mello hadn’t told him the revised version, only the pristine girl I was Before.
    “It makes him look a lot tougher.”
    Matt chuckled, swiping the death stick from my mouth, lingering a moment to smirk at me. He definitely belonged with people like Mello. Intelligent, but constantly bored, always eager for a challenge. Goody two shoes life wouldn’t suit him or Mello. I wasn’t sure it suited me.
    “Is there something between you two?” He prodded, throwing it out like a casual question. I didn’t know him enough. I couldn’t be sure if he honestly cared no matter my response or even why he wanted to know. Was it just curiosity?
    “Just the police and Near.” I teased, too unsure of Matt to divulge anything else. He’d laughed at that and then his cell phone rung inside his vest pocket and the laughter subsided. Pulling it out, he confirmed what I’d already suspected.
    “It’s Mello.” He waited for my reaction. I appreciated it.
    “I’ll contact him later. Let’s forget we ran into each other, okay?” He smirked again.
    “I don’t usually lie to my employer.” I’d flicked a strand of hair from his face.
    “Try to be a little more flexible. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be the type that likes to live outside the rules?” I stole the cigarette from him. “I’ll be in touch.”
    Matt hurried around the corner a few seconds later, after he’d seen me make my way down the alley. Knowing the type of people Mello associated himself with, I’d known that he kept his eye on me to make sure I didn’t try to follow him. No worries there. Mello hadn’t been on the best terms with me at the time, but I’d still believed that if I wanted to see him, he wouldn’t refuse. I had infiltrated the SPK. I had information Mello could use and he knew it. Once I had been positive Matt wasn’t watching, I tossed the cigarette aside. I didn’t smoke.
    That had been the only time I’d seen Matt and apparently, it’d be the last.
    “I know, but are you just going to make his death meaningless?” The news hurt a bit, but despite my liking of Matt, I barely knew him. I’d been hit much harder then that and it took something a bit sourer in the mouth to rattle me.
    “His death is meaningless.” He shot back. He’d lost a friend. Reasoning with him would be a challenge. I cursed in my head. Like most people, I rarely understood Mello sometimes, but if anyone comprehended his actions, it was me. I needed to veer from Matt. Mello wouldn’t be calm unless I did.
    “What about Takada? She has connections to Kira. There’s a good chance that they’ve even come into contact. What if she has the notebook or at least a piece of it? Kira must have told her your name-”
    “No.” He rejected firmly. Was it just denial? “I had her take off everything before I got too far away from the abduction sight. I gave her a blanket, but anything she may have hidden the notebook in is in a different truck. If they follow that signal, they’ll only end up farther away from her and Kira will be worried about his spokesperson. He’ll know it was me and he’ll have to contact me.”
    “You’re just being a desperate idiot. Stop and think, will you! Kira’s killed anyone who’s gotten in his way, from those FBI agents to Demegawa.” Kira’s first spokesperson who began to use Kira’s influence to finance his own desires. “Do you honestly believe he won’t leap at the opportunity to kill Takada if her existence proves to be dangerous for him?”
    “Kira won’t kill her.”
    “The entire world’s behind Kira now. The major superpowers all bowed to his demands. Getting rid of her may shake their faith in Kira, but they’ll still follow him! You’re death or Takada’s death won’t change anything and Kira will just make it look like an accident anyway! You’re walking into a trap. Stop the car, let Takada go, and get your a** back here!” I’d grown up with Mello. Certainly I could talk him out of this? Taking a deep breath, I changed my approach. “Mello, come back, please. I’ll talk to Near-”
    “I will not come whimpering back with my tail between my legs. I’ll capture Kira.” The lump returned in my throat.
    “You’d die to be like him, wouldn’t you? To be better then him?”
    I spoke of L, but “him” functioned in the same way. Mello would understand. That was all that mattered. My voice shook, petrified that Kira was about to take another member of those I considered family. L’s dead, now Mello’s...no, God, Kira, shinigami, whoever, please don’t take Mello from me as well.
    “I am better then him. I’m still alive.”
    “For the time being.” Why wouldn’t he just listen? “Mello, I beg you, don’t do this, for me...I need you to come back. I’ll help you catch Kira. I know what Near’s planning. We can capture him. I’ve already lost L. Don’t force me to watch you be murdered as well.”
    For a while, there remained only silence on both ends of the line, neither of us sure of the best thing to say. I knew what he wanted from me: Near’s plan and he wanted it immediately, but then there was nothing to force him to come back, to forget about Takada and meet with me somewhere to discuss our next move. The silence was both of us waiting for the other to cave and hand over their bargaining chip. We were both stubborn. I had a lot to loose family wise and Mello’s pride stood to take a blow as well. Either way, someone would be extremely upset when the next one spoke.
    “S...”
    I waited for him to agree with my decision, to ask me where we were going to meet up. I desperately wanted him to return to me, someplace where I could keep an eye on him, mold his aggression into something more useful. The original L, his idol and mine, never finished training Mello and Near, his promising successors. Near was too calm, Mello too aggressive. They both needed someone to tell them when to leap and when to stand back and watch. They needed each other, but neither would admit it.
    “I’m sorry. Good bye.”
    The click of the line going dead sounded more like a death toll then anything and I couldn’t fight back a scream. The woman in the car beside me looked up, visibly frightened and drove away quickly as the light turned green. I didn’t care who saw, who heard, who shook their heads and waited for Kira to kill the crazy teenager with the red and blue streaks in her black hair. Mello was gone. Even if he managed to keep himself from death, he didn’t trust me like he once had. I pulled up to the curb and brought my fists down upon the steering wheel, eyes wide in fury, ignoring the painful pounding of the blood in my bruising palms and fingers.
    “Damn you, Kira!” I yelled, the words seeming to echo around me.
    The only way to fight down another outburst involved biting my tongue and the familiar taste of blood squirted itself into my mouth a moment later. I grimaced, but at least I wouldn’t be out of control. Though still angry, I was at least calm now, able to think straight. A ring from my cell phone caught me off guard, and, with my heart thumping in my ears, I pressed the cold receiver to my face.
    “I’ve found Mello.” Near spoke to me as calmly as ever. I veered into traffic, keeping one hand on the phone, heart racing.
    “Where?” I asked, completely focused now, all business. Someone needed to save him from himself, and Near, like Mello, was too proud to do it himself.
    “Near Karuizawa. He’s in a transportation van.”
    “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” I paused. “Thank you, Nate.” There was no response from the other end for a few seconds. As with Mello, I kept him on his toes, always saying the right thing to throw him off guard. He didn’t know how to react to thank you’s.
    “Lidner will meet you there.” The phone clicked, signaling the end of our conversation and I tossed the phone aside. Fifteen minutes. I just needed to beat Kira. Fifteen minutes and it’d all be over. Mello would be okay again. I flattened the gas pedal against the floor of the car. Make it ten minutes.