the last panda

• Artist: innocent_cookie_crime
• Description: a story ment to be wrote on a paper if you like it i will make a serouis and put it on a website and lets see if i become famous this is the first chapter this story is not true all the people are made up as well
  
• Date: 10/09/2010
• Tags: last panda

My name is saffire I have been brotherless since the age of 8, thats when my brother went to war for 5 months we got letters but on the 6th month we got a letter but... not from him. The letter was from the leader it said my brother was dead i ran to my room and locked the door only coming out for school and food. I am 14 now and for my Birthday i got a envlope from my parents i sat at the dinner table opening it to find out i was going to vist china!!!! I hugged my parents and had tears in my eyes. "brother always wanted to go here ou were gonna take him when he came back" said saffire. She wiped her tears "i think i am going to pack up early even tho the trip isnt till next week.

Comments

[Maiha Himura]

Pretty good plot, but some of the grammar makes it hard to understand and really get into-which takes out of the real meaning of the story. Also edit a bit more carefully. Other than those two things great job smile