Impass

• Artist: WereSquishy
• Description: I'm taking the advice of someone I met, good reply, of coarse its rare that I even think about poems carefully or with literate thoughts.
• Date: 03/13/2009
• Tags: impass

So here we are
Restricted grounds
A plane of following

Free are wolfs
Bearing no chain
Mirages in our former womb

Blessed back then
Learning of no accord
Dreamed spirals of perfect circles

Must we watch
One more show
Sucked by shallow sleep

What was moving
Will cease
Declares martyrs hung on strings

Comments

[WereSquishy]

Actually I don't really plan poems....this was a vent like all of them, totally worthless.

Thank you?

[Llywelyn Fawr]

I think it certainly has potential. My advice would be to add some punctuation. Just because you can take grammatical liberties in poetry doesn't mean you can't use it. Also maybe try and make your ideas connect a little more unless you're going for a disconnected feel.