Civil War

• Artist: xXDark_ImprisonmentXx
• Description: None can understand the absoloute pain and afony of the Civil War...
• Date: 03/22/2009
• Tags: civil wars brothers fighting

Civil War! Civil War!
May not be as civil as once before
No one can know the payment due
of a Civil War once done and through.
For one man's strife, misery, and pain,
can not compare to a battle-plain.

Once on the front like a waiting pawn
May only Wait
Till' break of dawn.
When out of the darkness bullets fly
wizzing past soldiers as they go by.

Though none can compare
the smell of the dead,
and the comrads who fought,
till' the underground bed

And yet to this day not one understands
the toll that was talken on those north beach sands,
though they all read from a history book
still they don't know the skills that it took

Comments

[xXDark_ImprisonmentXx]

I didn't insult her, I know her personally, she is an AMAZING poet, but some of the poems she writes, are mostly free-verses, which irritates me a little because my life is based on rythyms and beats, and most of her works don't really have a rythmic beat... Sorry Ace... But It's true, and besides, you've heard me say things like this before...

[Sunafire]

Nice rhyming used here, and although the stanza beginning 'Though none can compare' is a little out of sync, it actually adds to the effect of the poem!
I love the first two lines.

You didn't need to insult Adorable below though, she was just giving her comments.

[xXDark_ImprisonmentXx]

Coming from the girl who irratates me with a non rythmic book of poems!

[Adorable_Hunny_Luv]

This is actually pretty good exept for this line "When out of the darkness bullets fly
wizzing past soldiers as they go by."
it disrupts the flow.
i'd recomends refrasing it, but other than that its good.
ending is a little...eh...as well.

[xXDark_ImprisonmentXx]

I don't think that this is my best wotk... But yet, It's something!... -_-