Intense

• Artist: Iooking
• Description: something i wrote just now :0
  
  nothing special.
  
  I have my own interpretations of this poem.
  I'd like to hear yours <3
  
  (this isn't a "basic" rhyme time poem. please take the time to read it carefully)
• Date: 06/28/2009
• Tags: beforethebreak

Light intense
Forms.
strength empowers the street
long and winding
leading somewhere, in which we cannot fathom, unimaginable
fear.

Intensity in rhyme
stops me from
the danger, ahead
the
danger,
ahead

Soft and supple
bearing birth, before breath
can you hear it?
calling
listen for it...

can you hear it?

Comments

[Drunken Native]

your poem sucks a**....1/5 ...wow I wasted my time on this s**t

[Iooking]

it was the point of the line to be long. i would elaborate on form, but that would take a while xD

[ChibiGinie]

I resent the fact that you consider rhyming poems basic. But that aside, I liked this. I'm not all together fond of them but as free forms go this is well done. 5th line in first stanza draws the readers eye and is distracting. Try to control the reader's eye. Writing is as much art as painting, remeber that. 4/5.

[The Reapers Requiem]

its an interesting style the 5th line in the first stanza seems to long 4/5