All rise.
Praise the Prophet Miyamoto, who gave to us the 50 Books of Mario, the 12 Laws of Hyrule, and to quote the Angel Samus, "******** you Ridley...".
All be seated.
And now to read from Book Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
...And so Link, The Hero of Time, did pull the Master Sword from its stone container, and there was much rejoicing. For he was frozen for seven years, and much occured in his absense. Until he was once more released upon the land of Hyrule, and there was much rejoicing...From zombies.
To quote the Fallen Angel of Irritation, Navi; "Link, Link, Listen, Listen, Link, Listen, Listen Link, Listen, Listen...We must talk to the Great Deku Tree."
...But it was for naught, for the Great Deku Tree had perished due to a fungal infection, many years ago, thus making this a programming error. But there was still much rejoicing, for Link sleweth Volvagia, the Lava Dragon of Death Mountain Crater, and there was much rejoicing...From Gorons.
Amen.
All rise.
We will now hear from the Choir as they vocalize the Song of Time.
All be seated.
Next week's sermon will include a speaking from Brother Maynard, on the topic of gargantuan Baboon dictators and how to deal with them. May Mushrooms rain upon your home...The good kind.
Emperor Toji Community Member 
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