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(( This entry is to explain to another as to why I must think in the ways of both a serial killer and an angel. ))

In order to save the lives of others, then you must know both sides of coin, both light light and dark. If you came to a person only knowing the side of light trying to save them would be impossible because there would be nothing to relate to. You must know both sides of light and dark to know what kind of situation they are in and how you would be able to pull them out of that situation.

Also they person would be able to connect to because they can relate to the situation that they are currently in. They can trust you and then you can slowly influence them to keep their faith that the hard times will get better. There isn't a person alive who doesn't enjoy a good coversation. That means that everyone, if it isn't love then it is a shoulder to lean on in their dark times, when they feel like the world had just abandoned them for dead.

The whole reason people commit suicide is because of reject and purpose. If a person loses their purpose in life then they believe that they have no more reason to continue living- because through their eyes, there is nothing more to live for. If a person feels rejected or is slightly inflluenced by anger then they take it as reject; grades for example, when the parents yell at them then they feel they are being rejected because they might be rejected by something in the future or they aren't good enough. Sometimes burden can weigh heavier than some people describe it as. It can be very painful when it gets really heavy. Some people just give up carrying it.

Mind you, the are some really sick dark people in the world of today that are teetering on the edge of insantiy and mental desruction. I can see right through their masks and stone barrocks that they build to hide themselves from everyone else. It isn't easy to be in that position, sometimes it takes a dark mind to heal a dark a dark mind.

That is my job; when someone is giving up carrying their burden, is insecure enough to dive off that cliff into insanity or to do something stupid that they will regret: my job is to dive in after them, hopefully just before lose their edge and bring them back to the surface. Or run to them and give them an extra hand in carrying their burden, or even stop them by any means nessecary to help numb their pain.
It takes time.
Yes, it takes A LOT of time.
I hope every moment that they heal inside and move on to see a better tomorrow where they can breate without fear. Eventually they come back to their senses and they are set free to see a new day.

Both the person healed and myself learn something new from each other. There have only been 3 people that I couldn't get to in time. I suffer everyday because I couldn't save them. They just threw their lives away and I can feel my heart rip in 2 as they just walk away... v_v The damage is horrible and it feels worse to bear a burden that I could have saved them if I spent more time with them.
Several times, I want to turn back time .... and reach out to give them my hand and not my back before they fell. Damn .... The memory of them has scarred my heart with bitter regret and failure.
I only have 2 arms and 2 legs. I cannot reach out to 3 people at once. But I am slowly becoming more adept at it. The ability to save another from shadow requires self-sacrifice that pays off in the end. The feeling that I saved someone from the darks depths of insanity powers my will and drives me to help support another.

These are my mental beliefs and I really don't care if you- who is reading this entry -thinks that I am crazy. Because frankly I'm not one to let my friends (who I care about more than anything else in this mortal world) lose all hope in life and surrender themselves to physical and mental destruction.
I give NO to pity to those who believe that they deserve that fate.