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I'm sick of wanting more. Really. What can you do when you want more but know if you did, it would go against something you knew? I don't want to rebel. I don't think I have it in me but I'm so sick of being here. Alone, while everyone else is off doing something with their lives.
When people ask, what's new....I have nothing to say! I do the same thing everyday. It's fun but I've done the same things for 2 years now. It's upsetting.
I'm used to hearing no to whatever I ask. So I gave up asking. But when my brother asks for the same things, yes was the answer.
Did this get me angry? Hell ******** yes.
Did I do anything about it? No. What could I do? Rebel? I know the consequences for that. I don't even want to imagine what would happen to me...Now I think it's worth the risk.
I want to live. School is the ONLY time when I get to see other people my age. I'm sick of that. I feel so alone.
6 hours in a government building somewhat fills the void but still...There's so much more to me that I just can't show within those 6 hours.
No one there really knows me.
Who knows me anyways?
I barely know me.
I dunno. I just wish I could say in the future. "Yeah, I had fun in those days." I can't. I'm only allowed to do things within the family. I just wonder why I'm the only one around here that's not allowed to do anything.