Bleh. I had a bad day today. I woke up confused because we had had a four day weekend (five for me) so I wasn't used to waking up. At first I couldn't figure out why my alarm was going off. I realized I had school when I went to lay back down. When I finally got ready I couldn't find my zoloft. I left it at my moms house. My gramma drove me to school. I hate her driving...it's scary. She had to bring it up to the school and even then it wasn't my medicine. It was some left over zoloft from someone else.
For some reason I feel sick today too. I think it started at halloween. My throat is sore and my head is spinning. Maybe I just need to go to the chiro. I feel so lost right now. I can't catch up. My AmLit teacher pointed that out. Thanks bunches to her.
Today wasn't all bad though. I wrote a poem. I hate the word poem. It sounds so...pathetic. Anyway, it was about death. Another thing I'm not missing about Ron is that I wasn't allowed to talk about death. Death fascinates me. I like to wonder "what if?" and he would get mad at me if I did. Death is miserable but beautiful to me. I used to think I wasn't close to it at all, but thats not true. I just haven't lost alot of people who were really close to me. I have lost my Uncle, but I was too young to understand it then. Now I see that I am much closer to death than I ever thought. I am on death's door 24/7. I have come an inch from death more than once. I have a right to talk about it. I don't fear it. At the moment I don't want it, but I am not going to hide from it. Not ever.
The poem brought a picture into my mind. I stayed after school (which caused me to miss my bus) and talked to the art teacher to get the stuff for it. She said I could use her stuff. That makes me happy. I told her I missed having an art class so she said I could switch into one in January. the best part is that I have already finished the course, so I'll just be allowed to do whatever I want.
Also I got my nice guy friend person's (he needs a new name in here...that one is too long) number. I was going to call him tonight but I feel so sick I woudl just end up complaining about it. He doesn't need to listen to me b***h. That's what this is for. EX hugged me after school. He is very huggable. I've been thinking about the people I know, evaluating them. I thought about what I think aout him and I came to this conclusion: Ex is a great friend. He just didn't work as a Boyfriend for me.
Not that I've been obsessing over him or anything. I've been evaluating everyone, especially myself. I'd post what I've decided, but it would take a long time and some of it may be misunderstood. Ayways, this has run long. Time for it to be finished.
View User's Journal
My brain makes words.
If I need to talk but have no one to talk to or I feel I need to write through my problems, it goes here. I do not use names. If I do, it's because I either have no respect for the person, or I accidentally slipped.
 |
User Comments: [3] [add]
|
Teki Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
[Harle]quin
Community Member 
|
|
|||||||||||||||
User Comments: [3] [add]
Community Member