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raine's journal
stuff i wrote
Life will go on.
Song playing: STILL Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys


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When I see everyone moving out of the place and getting on with their lives, it's like I'm that one kid who didn't graduate and won't even bother to get her a** off the couch and s**t to even /try/ to go back to school and move on with her life like everyone else.

This upsets me like nobody's business. It's a bit late for me to say I'm moving on with my life. Look at you guys. Look at all of you, so promising and able to DO THINGS with your life, and here I am, stuck in the ghettoest place in the ghettoest state in the ghettoest country in the ******** world. I have no opportunity. At the risk of sounding egotistic, I'll say I have talent but nothing to do with it. It's like in 4th grade, when I used to be the slowest runner EVER. I would see everybody going ahead of me and realize that I could beat them all so easily, but it was just like "******** it, man, no one would give a s**t."

So I gave up. I gave up. I stopped caring about moving on with my life, doing what normal people do. I poured my entire life and soul into stuff I love, but...that won't get me anywhere in life. Being an artist or a writer or a singer or a dancer won't pay the pills or support the family, unless you happen to get real famous, REAL FAST. It just doesn't pay to be something that you love, unless you happen to like something like business or medicine.

I always was a slacker to the core. To the core, through and through. I always saved my work for the last minute and rushed, and for all these years, I've been lucky enough to get by with flying colors with MINIMAL effort. I guess that's called abusing your talent, because some people have to work hard for stuff. I should work hard too.



God, I sound emo.


But I'm going to get to the point here.


When you guys all get on with your lives, I'm going to go too. Not out of hate for this place, or inability to commit, but because...

I'm young, and I'm talented. I believe I have to potential to do great things.

And I can't let myself be stuck in the past as a little kid forever.


So when you guys walk out that door...
Would you guys please remember to keep it open a bit longer, just for me?






 
 
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