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My cactus is dying...and I don't know why sad My mom thought I overwatered it, so I stopped and I've been letting it dry out, but every day it looks worse and worse... I think it will be dead soon. I just feel terrible about it. And pathetic. I couldn't even look after a cactus...

That aside, things just aren't going well. I feel like crap. Why? Well, it's the whole school thing. I was hoping that this year I'd be able to avoid some things from last year, but I haven't been able to. And avoiding is something I am quite accomplished at.

Suffice it to say, I'm doing something right now that frankly I am ashamed of, not just because that I think my actions are wrong, but because they arise out of cowardice. I'm too afraid to stand up and tell the truth when it's so much easier (and much less brave) to just go along with everything and pretend.

The most unbearable part of all this, is that my actions are the same as the actions of some former friends of mine, which makes me just as bad as them...well, not quite, I realize what I am doing is wrong. I'm doing what I hated them for doing...only, no one else knows or will likely find out like I did last time.

But I still pay the price while they did not. While they go on as if nothing happened, I must suffer from my own guilt. I cannot even consider pretending I've done nothing wrong like they do, my morals don't allow it. I only wish I knew how to fix this whole situation.

And with a grading coming and possibly trouble brewing within the family, I'm no where near being stress-free.

Damn it. I...I have to ask for some advice tomorrow. Things are falling apart and quite quickly. And I've got no answers...