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I don't love my horse for any of the usual reasons. Not because he's a great horse that does anything I ask of him and is absolutely perfect - because he's not. He's rather dumb at times and he's only 6 so we've got an attitude problem that can only be totally fixed with time. I don't love him because he's gorgeous. I don't love him for being a super affectionate horse (cuz he ain't super affectionate). I don't love him because he's cute and total cookie moocher. I don't love him because he recognizes my voice, the sound of my footsteps. I don't love him because he follows me around (unless he sees food - then he gets distracted until I get his attention again). I don't love him because I get to train him to do all sorts of things, some basic, some things only a Westernaires horse has to learn to deal with. Those are things I love about him, yes, but not the reasons. I might not love him as much without some of them (or more with some of the reasons people usually love a horse for that he doesn't fit). They are simply things that add to my love. He doesn't need to be those things for me to love him. They don't matter, water under the bridge, a solitary raindrop falling in a desert.
Why do I love him then? I realized the reason(s) today when I was at the barn. I had had a fight with my parents as I was leaving, and just my mom on the way there. And another one over the same thing on the way back home with my dad.
I love my horse because he accepts me just the way I am. He doesn't judge me, he doesn't care what I've done. He doesn't care what grades I get, whether or not I do my homework, if I have friends, if I'm pretty or ugly, popular or a nerd, fat or thin, tall or short, dorky or cool. He accepts me no matter what I do, even when I get frustrated with him. Oh, he does push my buttons on purpose on occasion, but he's just testing me to see if he can get away with whatever.
He treats me just the same no matter what kind of mood I'm in. He doesn't get mad when I make mistakes. He accepts me as I am every single time I see him. He's reliable. He'll always do the same things, he doesn't change. He doesn't get angry with me, he doesn't scream or yell at him. He doesn't hit me. He doesn't expect me to be someone I'm not. I can just be who I am around him without fear of being misunderstood or judged. It's irrelevant to him that I'm not quite sure who that person is that I am just yet. I can just relax and enjoy myself around him, ride him and work on some training, or just dink around. We can play and work.
I'm not sure if he loves me. I know he likes me better than my dad or sister because of the difference between how he treats me and how he treats each of them. But does it really matter? I don't think so. I love him and that's all that really matters. I like to think that he loves me, but I can't tell for certain because I don't have someone else whose spent as much time with him as I have to compare how he treats me vs. them to figure it out. But the point of love isn't to be loved in return. Love is a selfless emotion in its pure form. When you love, you don't need to have anything given in return. Its nice yes, but its not needed - water under the bridge. All love needs is to be shown. That's it. It doesn't need to be verbalized, advertised, broadcasted, announced. Expressed, shown, that's it, only that. Not in words, in actions. Love is too great an emotion to be expressed in words, for the simple reason that words aren't strong enough. Only actions are.