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My Fears, Wonders, and Dreams
The looking glass to the Wonderland that is my mind.
Wish/In My Eyes
You know...
I wish that I could get back part of what I give.
I give and give and give love and compassion...
But when it comes down to it, I've never gotten any in return.

I've somewhat given up on the thought that you could ever feel about me the same way that I do for you...
But I just wish that you could see me the way that I see you.

Smart.
Brave.
Strong.
Beautiful, both inside and out.
Funny.
Caring.
The list could go on.

I'm sick of seeing people around me get into serious relationships and me standing all alone on the sidelines to watch and "help out" and ultimately I get extremely jealous of them.

And I know you don't feel the same, but I just wish that you would at least give it a try...
I know you don't think love should be forced, and that is the sole reason I haven't seriously talked to you about how I feel about us.
And honestly, I think we do more things together than couples that are dating.

I just feel so good when I'm around you.
I always want to feel that way.
I wish you could feel the same, but obviously you don't.
I wish you could see things through my eyes.

After I leave for college it'll be somewhat hard to see you again.
And you're thinking of going to Oklahoma with Taylor for college.
When you talked about that the other day my heart did a 360 and cracked a little.
I don't want you to leave.
I'm scared.
I hate being alone.
I understand that you have your own dreams and such...
But, I just wish I could be worth a little bit more to you.

I wish you loved me.
Or at least loved me the way that I love you.
I will always be your best friend.
I'm sincerely fine with how we are now.
I just wish that you'd pay a little more attention to me.
I might not always be there.
Don't take me for granted.

I seriously think that we flirt.
I'm not kidding.
It's subconscious but I really think it happens.

Like when we were in Hot Topic.
When you got that vest you asked for my opinion.
I said "It looks nice."
You and the woman that got it for you said "I think it looks cute."
You both kind of stared at me a bit and I felt like I was put on the spot and that I gave the wrong answer.
Maybe that's overthinking it a little.
But there have been other times.

None of which I care to share at the moment.
But I swear it happens.

I wish you'd stop sending those weird mixed signs.
They are really confusing me.

I seriously considered trying to burn the bridges between us the other night.
Because if you DO go to Oklahoma,
Well...
That's pretty much it.
3 states away...
Only contact is the phone...

But whatever.

Nothing has ever worked in my favor before.
Why should now be any different.

Love ******** sucks.





 
 
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