::sigh::
I'm left at home alone once again, so I figured I'd post something.
My head hurts like a mother, as the saying goes. The only reason I'm not going to bed at the moment is dual- first, because I canonly get music when I'm on the computer, and I need the music desperately. Also, because my reality is just as bad as my dreams right now. I really don't want to go to that right now.
I'm also kind of hungry... but I don't think I'm going to let myself eat. I feel like total crap. So I guess I'll get off this other thing that's been bugging me for the past few days.
He's going out with one of my close friends... don't ask me why. She doesn't even know why. It bothers me that this bothers me. I'm actually jealous of her, I found, after recent self-searching... and it drives me nuts. I can't believe that I'm actually jealous of her. Which lets me know something in wrong... I wasn't jealous of anyone one else. Only her. I have the feeling that means that she is actually the right one... I know that sounds really crazy and far-fetched by following the thought pattern here. but I don't have enough time or patience or sanity to jot down my complete thought process here.
I mean, she's alot like me. Just... not as messed up. Loads less drama. Loads less 'mind ********', as the term goes. You know. a decent 'dark' person. He would be good for her, as much as I don't want to say it. She could use someone gentle like him. He could use someone... not messed up like her. Someone who's parents will accept him. So, I don't know. He acts like he still kind of likes me, but also says things that make me think he is having doubts too... so I dunno. Just trying to vent.
((edited))
I'm left at home alone once again, so I figured I'd post something.
My head hurts like a mother, as the saying goes. The only reason I'm not going to bed at the moment is dual- first, because I canonly get music when I'm on the computer, and I need the music desperately. Also, because my reality is just as bad as my dreams right now. I really don't want to go to that right now.
I'm also kind of hungry... but I don't think I'm going to let myself eat. I feel like total crap. So I guess I'll get off this other thing that's been bugging me for the past few days.
He's going out with one of my close friends... don't ask me why. She doesn't even know why. It bothers me that this bothers me. I'm actually jealous of her, I found, after recent self-searching... and it drives me nuts. I can't believe that I'm actually jealous of her. Which lets me know something in wrong... I wasn't jealous of anyone one else. Only her. I have the feeling that means that she is actually the right one... I know that sounds really crazy and far-fetched by following the thought pattern here. but I don't have enough time or patience or sanity to jot down my complete thought process here.
I mean, she's alot like me. Just... not as messed up. Loads less drama. Loads less 'mind ********', as the term goes. You know. a decent 'dark' person. He would be good for her, as much as I don't want to say it. She could use someone gentle like him. He could use someone... not messed up like her. Someone who's parents will accept him. So, I don't know. He acts like he still kind of likes me, but also says things that make me think he is having doubts too... so I dunno. Just trying to vent.
((edited))
