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A Bean's Last Half Year in High School
And I can honestly say I'll miss it here. To the point of not wanting to graduate, even. But life must go on and move forward. I know I'll make new friends and have lots of fun in new places, but there's a lonely feeling to moving on from the tiny town in which I've spent my entire life, and the classmates, some of whom I've known over two thirds of my life, and the people and safety of a known place. I'll probably never see most of these people again, I'll never watch the jocks joking around with each other, get called a beast and a monster for my strength in PE, never talk about dirty things with my friends at lunch again. I'll never get to go ninja on guys who jokingly give me a bad time and then laugh about it with them a moment later again. I'll never get to do "niiice to peeet" on my friends or random and unsuspecting classmates again. Never again will I sit in distance learning and talk to and joke with my underclassman friends. I won't be able to walk into PE and watch the guys, all lined up in a row, gossiping like the muppet rats from Muppet Christmas Carol. Or yell "BOOBIES" as they throw the giant 20 pound ball to see if it'll make them throw farther. And I'll miss it. And even the little things that don't make it here. Because I'll never get to experience high school again.... ever. And I'll be leaving the people I've spent most of my life with, the town I grew up in, the life I've always known. And it's lonely. And scary. You never realize how precious something is until you lose it... or are about to lose it. The life of the person sitting here, typing this journal entry up is about to change so much... like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. So much change. We're all growing up. The boys I went to kindergarten with are growing out their little teenager beards and benching like Hercules.

.... and I doubt I'll ever, EVER feel so comfortable around so many people again. Like I could just up and talk to any one of them as a friend, or good natured acquaintance. I'll miss this place, and all the people in it. So much that it almost hurts even now.
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