-It's strange now that I can walk into that place and be recognized. Just because of temporary arrangements.
It's even stranger that I put up so much resistance to making friends here, and made some when I wasn't expecting it.
-It's a huge weight off my shoulders I met some friends who share this anxiety I have.
It puts me at odds though, because this specific friend can read me when I'm trying to hide these things. They knew I was uncomfortable, they knew I was trying to be all business and not get attached.
-It's indescribable (oh but how I'll try to. In so many words though, lol) that I have finally let go of some things that made me angry.
It's about time. But it's far from complete. I'm not hopping in a van, assembling a posse for a road trip. A road trip of forgiveness! Where I got a list of people I may've upset or did something mean to. (Buddy back in ET that has a burnt fingerprint on a finger. Thanks to me being a jerk who thought that idea of a prank would've been funny at that age. Still kinda funny.) This would so be a bromance movie, where this anger was keeping me from.. Something plot driven and full of laughs and other feels.
gonk
-It's a pain that my new phone is being difficult already.
It's funny, but same number I've had for a while. The ones who kept texting me made the transition. Anyone else, it's been a comical guessing game.
-It's weird that friends who have multiple ways of contacting me, want me to join some other form of messenger. (kik, snapchat, I'm forgetting one, I'll probably edit this later.)
It's deja vu with some of these people. Some contact me out of the blue when the conversation stops, it takes a pause and they message after some time. Poked and pleaded me to join this instant messenger flavor of the week, I do and we're back to our routine. It's nice and unpredictable.
-It's frustrating when a friend plays the guessing game when I ask if they're okay. It's yes or no, don't lead the person on if you don't wanna say, be honest. I'll respect that a lot more than: "Yeah man, having a shitty week, but it's too much to text. I'm just not up to feeling like a phone call. But I do wanna tell you"<- Can't make sense of that.
It's all kinds of confusing. I lost sleep over this waiting on a person to call when they eventually tossed me that gem above.
-It's long overdue that I started to leave painful things in the past, and trying more to stop bringing them up. (it may happen time to time, some people or things take longer.)
It probably goes hand in hand with the letting things go statement, but I also realize a lot of us have this in common: we depend on past experiences to live in the present. I'm sure there's a more elegant way of wording it, but when someone you're close to gets pissed off you compare them to someone in the past, trying pretty hard to change that becomes a priority depending on the friendship lol. Not much for elegance, but I think that gets the point across.
-It sucks that I know a friend is dealing with something, and I can't help. Listening only does so much.
It's vague, but this applies to a lot of things, and people. A person who thinks I may hate them, when I wasn't given another chance to talk to them/or my last message was ignored. A friend who moved out of love and is now one crappy decision away from being homeless. A friend who I'm waiting on a reply from.
-It's quite a nice feeling that a person from the past has contacted me surprisingly. An ex even, where I've kept in touch with a few. I was moving on and thinking even though it ended how it did, nobody hating each other we just stopped talking.
It's been going on a while, but to hear from her and how she's been it's pretty nice. Phone calls, goofy texts. It's been nice, she's been keeping me updated on some of our old friends.
-It's difficult to trust my own body when I keep getting random unexplained pains.
It's normal according to the doctor I see. But he says it's up to me to do this on my own. If he says my recent visits tell him I'm healthy, I need to quit worrying so much over every ache and pain. I'd say with what I went through last year, this paranoia or distrust is understandable. Again like a few things said in this journal entry, I'm trying to let these things go. It's one thing I won't miss, even more so that it's not a person : p
It's even stranger that I put up so much resistance to making friends here, and made some when I wasn't expecting it.
-It's a huge weight off my shoulders I met some friends who share this anxiety I have.
It puts me at odds though, because this specific friend can read me when I'm trying to hide these things. They knew I was uncomfortable, they knew I was trying to be all business and not get attached.
-It's indescribable (oh but how I'll try to. In so many words though, lol) that I have finally let go of some things that made me angry.
It's about time. But it's far from complete. I'm not hopping in a van, assembling a posse for a road trip. A road trip of forgiveness! Where I got a list of people I may've upset or did something mean to. (Buddy back in ET that has a burnt fingerprint on a finger. Thanks to me being a jerk who thought that idea of a prank would've been funny at that age. Still kinda funny.) This would so be a bromance movie, where this anger was keeping me from.. Something plot driven and full of laughs and other feels.
gonk
-It's a pain that my new phone is being difficult already.
It's funny, but same number I've had for a while. The ones who kept texting me made the transition. Anyone else, it's been a comical guessing game.
-It's weird that friends who have multiple ways of contacting me, want me to join some other form of messenger. (kik, snapchat, I'm forgetting one, I'll probably edit this later.)
It's deja vu with some of these people. Some contact me out of the blue when the conversation stops, it takes a pause and they message after some time. Poked and pleaded me to join this instant messenger flavor of the week, I do and we're back to our routine. It's nice and unpredictable.
-It's frustrating when a friend plays the guessing game when I ask if they're okay. It's yes or no, don't lead the person on if you don't wanna say, be honest. I'll respect that a lot more than: "Yeah man, having a shitty week, but it's too much to text. I'm just not up to feeling like a phone call. But I do wanna tell you"<- Can't make sense of that.
It's all kinds of confusing. I lost sleep over this waiting on a person to call when they eventually tossed me that gem above.
-It's long overdue that I started to leave painful things in the past, and trying more to stop bringing them up. (it may happen time to time, some people or things take longer.)
It probably goes hand in hand with the letting things go statement, but I also realize a lot of us have this in common: we depend on past experiences to live in the present. I'm sure there's a more elegant way of wording it, but when someone you're close to gets pissed off you compare them to someone in the past, trying pretty hard to change that becomes a priority depending on the friendship lol. Not much for elegance, but I think that gets the point across.
-It sucks that I know a friend is dealing with something, and I can't help. Listening only does so much.
It's vague, but this applies to a lot of things, and people. A person who thinks I may hate them, when I wasn't given another chance to talk to them/or my last message was ignored. A friend who moved out of love and is now one crappy decision away from being homeless. A friend who I'm waiting on a reply from.
-It's quite a nice feeling that a person from the past has contacted me surprisingly. An ex even, where I've kept in touch with a few. I was moving on and thinking even though it ended how it did, nobody hating each other we just stopped talking.
It's been going on a while, but to hear from her and how she's been it's pretty nice. Phone calls, goofy texts. It's been nice, she's been keeping me updated on some of our old friends.
-It's difficult to trust my own body when I keep getting random unexplained pains.
It's normal according to the doctor I see. But he says it's up to me to do this on my own. If he says my recent visits tell him I'm healthy, I need to quit worrying so much over every ache and pain. I'd say with what I went through last year, this paranoia or distrust is understandable. Again like a few things said in this journal entry, I'm trying to let these things go. It's one thing I won't miss, even more so that it's not a person : p
