Alright, now this is a bit of a spontaneous idea. I'm in a pretty good mood at this idea. Typed it before I slept, so mood may change. All I know is I'll definitely be re-reading this later and wondering what the hell I was thinking, or thanking myself (Right? No? Yes?) There's a trip coming up in two days. I haven't given my answer yet, just a thirteen hour drive.
Between cleaning up after the cat and the more often than I want to admit negativity here, (Well damn.. Hey, hey.. There's definitely some positive vibes and times going on here. It's just last week was more ugly than good, this week has been great.) I think I could use a small escape, even if it is for a week.
I'm weighing my downsides, and the upsides. Since the nasty event that happened to me (Approaching 2 years. Yeah, come on, me. Get over that.) This would be the first time in a while I've left my state, since I cannot say town.
My downsides is:
- What if I miss something happen to my cat? I'd want to be here if she were to pass away. But besides some random surprises she left me on the floor a majority of last week, think it's safe to say "meeshers is got herself a stomach bug" that's a tough a** cat, her perma-scowl keeps her strong, judging by the personality we think this cat has. She's good for a while. That and the vet visit last year (her hip/limp issue, same month) I'm not overly worried, I mean I am, and I am not. I will always worry about her. But, that's just because I love this animal. No amount of cat biscuits, or bodily puddles will change that. Just lately, I'm getting sick of almost losing my breakfast cleaning up her messes.
- I may be getting and giving a break from things here. But, I'm jumping right into another buffet of not-easy-to-handle-in-large-doses personalities. Multiplied.
- Something could happen to me. I still have those off days, things hurt. But really, we all have this.
- I will have to talk about the traumatic event. With my Grandpa (*) at least. He went through something himself. It'll be nice to see him and the other family members there.
- Grandma said something very strange. (I was dating someone online.) Her response was very unexpected. I'm hoping there isn't a follow-up discussion there.
- I'll be away from a majority of my heavy electronics (oh lawdy, no no no.)
My upsides:
- Swimming.
- Change of a scenery, diet, and maybe even moods.
- A chance to study something I've been meaning to study. Might even tie together with the purpose of this trip.
- Me and a certain someone have talked about me being focused on something real. I was informed there is a huge difference in personality when I'm focused on some kind of real thing.
Something that isn't about getting mad "pixel props" as we've put it jokingly. Might just be a chance to see this side of my personality for myself.
- Away from electronics.
- An excuse to not care about much else online. (There is a friend who eveeee-ry day, they point out some shiny item on here, on a game we play, and on a video game they play. It'll be nice to disconnect myself from that. At least a little. He knows who he is. Punk a** making me download damn near every messenger flavor of the week to test which one we like better.)
- Might catch some new pokes, some pokemon. (some pokemayne, xD, again that friend mentioned above has gotten a kick out of those nicknames + the plural I've always wondered, Obviously it isn't mayne. Get that junk out of here.) from Pokemon Go (I cringed typing that, almost all of that bit. But, I do enjoy this. I seem to have an odd history with this series, all kinds of people and stuff not worth getting into. I at least joined this for myself, and not because I'm a people pleaser and wanted to play a game with someone.)
I swear I wasn't on anything when I typed this. I just haven't slept yet, and thought to aim this message more towards myself reading it later on. I'm already planning on asking one person here for their input on this idea, texting a friend, and messaging someone else who is pretty familiar with how things have been for me lately. 3 other opinions to help me choose on this.
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* Explanations. So, when a online relationship started to look a bit downhill, my Grandpa was having health issues. Instead of asking for help, I lashed out one too many times. That coupled with jealousy over something I should've ignored. I found myself single and alone with this issue.
Akito Kozunu Community Member 
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