Jun 1, 2021
Time is still ******** but I last week sometime I received actual human physical contact, I felt wanted and loved and for a couple days I was happier than I've been in recent memory. However it fell apart as all things seem to and now I realize just how starved I am of affection and human touch. It's honestly kind of sad. Every night I think I'm gonna sleep in my car and finally have that emotional breakdown that's been brewing for a bit. But then I take the affection provider to work and she gives me a smile and says "get some rest" and apparently it's enough to stave off mental collapse for one more day.
I feel pathetic, my mental state hinging on the emotional breadcrumbs of a friendly comment, providing just enough sustenance to sleep in a bed one more night like a functional human being.
I guess that's enough self loathing for one post.
all_winters_eve · Tue Jun 01, 2021 @ 12:37pm · 0 Comments |