I have recieved proclimations of love before. One or two was promising, several were not an option and the rest were just nutters. But beginning in the last month or two, the requests for my love have grown. And they are by elligable men to, not just random suitors who pretend to be charmed by my ways to get what they want. (Ahem, a certain young suitor named Kael comes to mind.)
I really do not even want to say it because I know my other friends would never, but I am actaully feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. Now I know how Danicai feels about all of them. How every man she befriends ends up falling for her. Of course it is not that bad for me, but it is very different. I'm trying to allow myself to enjoy their company and act as a younf lady of my age should, but I still find myself thinking that Iduna would personally kill me if she knew all of it.
Nothing bad, just a bit more flirtatious and not quite as frightened of men...
I'm not used to this attention from them in this way. And from these types of people; ones that I never would have thought would give me second glance before. And that leds me to my question (because there is always a question if you have failed to notice by now.) Why all the attention so suddenly? Have I changed just a fraction of enough to let people entre my life?
I keep thinking about Orlin. I've never been like that with someone (save the whole wedding to a fairy bit, but I had had quite a lot of mead then so I still do not think it counts...) and I'm finding that it is rather enjoyable! I to a certain extent think I will like this new role once I've grown accustomed to it.
And then there's Frer. But we won't discuss that. 'Tis just a wee bit..odd.
Later
Oh, but yes. Frer. Frer, Frer, Frer. Frer! I just love saying his name, the thought of him; the memory is so near. Just bearing the weight of this emotion is filling me with a desire to see him again even though I just came from Asgard. He is everything!
I wouldn't tell Iduna. For some reason she didn't want me to meet him, but she didn't want me to meet anyone. And what if he did something...unsavoury to her? As if my Frer could ever do something in contempt. She wouldn't tell, and Bragi likes him! They're best friends. And Bragi is Odin's son! See? I consider that good enough outside approval. Not that lack thereof has stopped me before but...
Frer. I just want to be near him. He makes me feel like no one has in ages! Like I'm capable and fragile at the same time. Beautiful, but bold. Wild and quiet. All at the same time. Is that possible?
Aeliara · Thu Oct 12, 2006 @ 03:24am · 0 Comments |