Wow Christmas Day... how a sad day is for me. I know it suppose to be all happiness, all full of joy but for me its just like another normal day of those that you just want to lock yourself in your room and just cry and yell. All around me has turn so fragile, than with just a word it all can collapse it all can be gone. Its hard to smile and be happy in front of others when you are really suffering for some mistake that coulded being evaded. But yeah people make errors and they have to face them and learn from them but not at the way Im facing it or better said the way Im trying to face it. Love, happiness and family are now at a point to break. I have the words in my head but I dont have the strength to say them, and on that depends whats gonna happen... it all depends on me and here I am like a scary cat crying and writing this. I mean yeah I should be used to cry, I should be used to suffer but I was expecting more things for my life and I got them and now I have to fight to keep them but I feel weak, I feel pressured from both sides. I know some people when they read this gonna be like "You deserve it biatch" but as well some others gonna be like "I hope she comes ok from this". I dont know how I might come from this, I dont know whats gonna happen with me, with us, with everyone and everything around us. I dont wanna lose all that I got but at the same time I have to do what I never learn to do, fight for what I want, do all I can do to keep all that, all I got.
 Sweet`Angel · Tue Dec 26, 2006 @ 01:59am · 2 Comments |
