- by queen_of_night8 |
- Holiday Poem Contest
- | Submitted on 12/12/2008 |
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- Title: LIes
- Artist: queen_of_night8
-
Description:
I know we will never be togather
and you far like star
you my wish, you my dream
i keep saying these thing to get far from me from my mind ,my heart ,and my soul
BUt its all lies
coz you are what i want
thats all i know - Date: 12/12/2008
- Tags: lies
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Comments (4 Comments)
- comatoseseraphim - 12/25/2008
- the grammars a bit wrong but the feelings are conveyed well. Good job.
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- xX_Lyota_Xx - 12/23/2008
- One, you have very very very very very bad grammar. It's not 'Coz' It's ''Cause' it's not 'BUt' it's 'but,'. The line 'I keeping saying these things to get you far from me <COMMA>, from my mind <COMMA>, from my heart <COMMA>, from my soul <COMMA>,' Is all screwed up. It's all one line. You don't press enter if it gets too long. Two, It's in the wrong space dipstick. Three, this is a horrible piece of writing.
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- iiFuzzyBlueLights - 12/23/2008
- You put the writing in the wrong place. Epic phail.
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