• Here it comes just once a year
    So put on a face and spread the cheer.
    Bake the cookies, roll out the dough.
    Place the dishes in a perfect row.
    Honey glazed ham comes out of the oven.
    Avoid the dog when he comes runnin'.
    The doorbell rings and laughter is heard.
    Uncle Nick comes in with his own little herd.
    On Danny, On Donald, On Preston and Vicky!
    On Connor, on Caitlin, on Debra and Brittany!
    Aunt Layla comes in with little Randolph still in her tummy.
    He could burst out any day, I would bet my money.
    Again rings the doorbell and in comes Grandma.
    Behind her I can see dear old Grandpa...
    and Aunt Mary, and Leah, and little cousin Timmy.
    Then Sammy, then Rita, then the twins Jack and Jimmy.
    Followed by Tom, John, Freddy and Kim.
    In comes Jenny, Kelly, Lisa, Harold, and big cousin Tim.
    Then last but not least their's Tyler's family.
    With Helana, Lauren, Moreen, and Sabrina
    then Molly, Eddie, Paul, Horace, and Katrina.
    The family's all here but still the door rings,
    Mom's invited all of our friends it seems!
    Here comes Julia, Michelle, Frank with his kids,
    All little boys, triplets and twins.
    Martha, Arnold, Richard, and Robert
    Then came Mae and Julianne…
    There’s too many to count!
    Somehow we all fit into the house
    More laughter, conversation, and singing come out.
    The little ones run all around the tree.
    I have to protect the presents from Jack and Brittany.
    Dad comes down stairs dressed as old Saint Nick,
    The kids run so fast it could make me sick.
    They scream, they shout, they jump with joy.
    There little voices all asking for toys.
    Dad just gives a loud ‘Ho ho ho’ and says they should wait.
    His little elf helper has to come, so please sedate.
    The steps creak and everyone looks up,
    Down comes my brother dressed as an elf.
    I hold in the laughter while he tries to smile.
    I know if he could he’d do something vile.
    The kids all cheer and ask for the gifts,
    Then mom comes in and says ’hold on Saint Nick!’‘
    These kids have not shown you there manners,
    They know the rules, no if’s or buts’ matter!
    Dinner comes first and then come the gifts
    ,So why don’t you join us for supper Saint Nick?’
    Dad looks at her face then gives us a wink,
    ‘What would old Mrs. Claus ever think?’
    Mom gives him a smile then looks really sly,
    ‘I don’t think she’d mind as long as you bring her back some pie.’
    So my Santified dad sits down at the table,
    He calls back to my brother ‘Come helper Ronald, join in at the table!’
    My brother then sits, then mom, and then me.
    Then down sits the rest, over 60 I count.
    Not all fit the table, some don’t even have chairs.
    Some sit on the floor or even the stairs!
    But we all settle down as Grandma leads grace.
    When she says amen we’re all over the place.
    Cookies and ham, carrots and kringle
    Soon serving dishes are empty and we’re in a pickle.
    But even as Jimmy and Donald eye the last bun,
    Mom shouts out ‘don’t worry anyone!
    There’s more in the kitchen, so don’t make a fuss.
    I made sure there was enough for all of us.’
    So mom saves the night with food for us all,
    Everyone’s laughing and having a ball.
    Then dad calls out for the kids to get gifts,
    So they all line up in front of my brother and Saint Nick.
    They all get a toy and a candy cane
    But then my dad had to rain on their parade.
    ‘I’m sorry my children but Santa must fly!
    Ronald and I must say goodbye!’
    So up the stairs my dad and brother went,
    Without making a noise or leaving a scent.
    In a minute or two they were all back,
    Only they weren’t in costumes, they were just Steven and Dad.
    We all left the table and went to the tree,
    Where there were mountains of presents,
    At least six hundred and three.
    We sat and we opened,
    We giggled and gaffed.
    Everyone one laughed at my giant stuffed cat.
    Then we all settled down by the fire with coca,
    Then we heard Preston screech and recoil!
    We asked what was wrong and he only replied,
    ‘Mommy wet herself now I’m wet on my side!”
    Uncle Nick choked on his hot Coca,
    Aunt Layla relaxed and said ‘grab my coat’
    We all scrambled around in search for her jacket,
    All I could think was where is it god dammit!
    Mom found the coat and we scrambled out the door,
    We rushed to the hospital, then to the fourth floor.
    All 60 some quests and my family all waited
    For little Randolph to show his little round face.
    Hours went by and the kids fell asleep,
    Then out came the nurse and asked who wanted a peek,
    At the new baby boy that Layla had, had.
    We all shouted me, the loudest my dad.
    We rushed to the glass to look at the boy,
    That would be Nick and Layla’s ninth bundle of joy.
    We saw his cute face, with a nose that was red,
    Sammy joked that he should be called Rudolph instead.
    But we all sat and stared at that beautiful boy,
    That became our family’s own Christmas day joy.