• Once more twas the night before Christmas
    And all through the condo
    Not a creature was stirring
    Except for my daughter who was texting on the phone
    our cell phones were placed at our beside with care
    with the hopes our bosses would not be aware
    my daughter finally got into her bed
    while a vision of an iPhone danced in her head
    with baby in his boxers and I in my..well cap
    we got into bed for a restless winter nap
    Suddenly on the beach arose such a clatter
    Baby grabbed for his baseball bat to see what was the matter
    Down to the front door we flew in a flash
    We opened the locks and threw back the sash
    The moon on the sand with the lack of new snow
    gave a calm sigh to all of us down here below
    Then what to our furious eyes did appear
    a mini van and eight men dressed as reindeer
    With a crazy man driver, so scary and thick
    I knew in an instant it must be Mafia Nick
    More stealthily than ninjas to our back door they came
    with head nods, and hand gestures we heard not a name
    But code named Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen
    And Comet, and Cupid, and Donder, and Blitzen
    Up to the porch, on top of the wall
    into the house, into the house, now in there you all
    Like leaves they scattered, in a flash they did fly
    when they meet with an obstacle, they went right on by
    On top of our condo went some of them, a few
    with a guitar case full of guns, and Mafia Nick came too
    And then in a whisper I heard on the roof
    a slipping and sliding and then a loud OOF!
    As baby drew his bat back as he turned around
    In the back door came Mafia Nick with a bound
    he was dressed in Armani from his head to his foot
    his clothes had no hint of ashes or soot
    a large bag was thrown all over his back
    he looked so menacing when he opened his pack
    his eyes how they flashed, his cheeks how merry
    his lips were like roses, his pimples like cherries
    around his wrist was what looked like a bow
    and the beard of his chin looked nothing like snow
    the stump of a cigar he held in his teeth
    and the smoke i wished circled his head like a wreath
    he had a big head and a big round belly
    that shook when he walked like a bowl full of jelly
    he was fat and plump, like a Mc Donald's stuffed elf
    I tried not to laugh in spite of myself
    A wink of his eye and a crack of the neck
    Somehow that told me I had nothing to dread
    He spoke not one word, but began his work
    pulled out some laptops and gave his head a jerk
    then placing his finger at the tip of his nose
    he pulled out an iPhone as he quickly rose
    He left out the door, to his men gave a whistle
    back to the van they flew like the down of a thistle
    But I heard him shout out as they drove out of sight
    Shut your mouth man deer or I'll 'crete you this night!