• Innocence Lost

    My childhood was not spent
    In oblivion, as many people did.
    I did not have even half of
    The wonderful, perfect life.
    Once I knew true happiness,
    Of the warmth and kindness
    Both of my parents had in their hearts,
    For one grew cold and distant and horrid
    And I woke up to a nightmare reality.
    This is the story of my Paradise Lost
    And how my Innocence disappeared with it.

    I cannot give out
    The exact event that started it all.
    The blacking cloud gradually grew
    As my sparkling utopia gradually faded.
    It began when I was young
    Young enough to not to understand
    But not young enough to
    Hide from the raw realism.
    I know who’s to blame
    But sometimes I wonder
    If he knew what he was doing,
    To my family and
    To himself.
    Why would he purposely
    Ruin the lives of his children?
    And scare them from the inside
    Out.

    My father
    Used to be a good man.
    I remember his face,
    Happy and loving,
    And his embrace,
    Warm and protecting.
    As time swam on
    I saw that face
    And felt that embrace
    Less and less
    Until I didn’t want them anymore.

    I saw my parents’ love
    Fall into pieces.
    My father would get angry
    At my mother for any reason.
    He wouldn’t just get angry
    But be livid,
    His face red, his eyes a
    Burning flame.
    The most trivial matters would
    Begin the countdown
    To the impending explosion.
    My mother arriving five minutes late
    Or Thanksgiving dinner
    Not done on time.
    He was a silent bomb waiting
    To blow.

    He would yell,
    Hit, and shove her.
    She let him because
    She was scared
    Because she didn’t know
    What to do.
    Because she believed
    Every put down word he said.
    He was a monster, Mr. Hyde,
    That took over my father’s body.
    And he would never leave.

    My sister and I
    Listened and watched
    An unfair battle of
    Trickery and deceit.
    We tried to help
    To support,
    But there was never anything we could do
    My mother cried herself to sleep.
    But persistence prevails
    When everything else fails
    And finally she listened
    And took action against her tyrant.

    I remember that day
    As sharp as sword master’s
    Blade.
    My mother and sister sitting across from me
    Tears of joy and fear in their eyes.
    The next day, returning home
    After school, my sister and I
    Fearing the upcoming relief.
    A knock at the door,
    The house orotund
    With the sounds of commotion and pain.
    Hidden away in a room,
    We wait
    Until all goes silent.
    The danger has passed.

    Still, I mourn for the one I have lost.
    He was not the one that did
    All those horrible deeds.
    That was another, cruel beast.
    My loving father disappeared long before
    And had been taken over gradually,
    Slowly consumed.
    I know now that he can never come back,
    For a while I thought not all was lost.
    But after trying to get to the root
    And facing his stubborn, twisted
    State of mind,
    I know there is no way to revive him.
    He is dead
    And I miss him more than I
    Could ever find a way
    To express.

    He’s taken my Innocence
    He’s taken my Trust
    He’s taken my Love
    And I cannot find them.
    Like him, they too have

    Disappeared