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So a lot has happened...<br />
Many years have passed...<br />
<br />
Seeing as this is a forgotten webpage, an vastly unused account without much likelihood of ever being discovered again, I'm going to be completely open and lame.<br />
<br />
I am a loser<br />
Been in love with the same man for 8 years, no matter how hard I tried to stop.<br />
And I really did try... I lied to myself, I kept pushing, I kept trying.<br />
Because he's someone I was never supposed to fall in love with.<br />
Someone no one wants me to love...<br />
Even a majority of my friends can't support it.<br />
But I can't blame them, I don't have a chance with him anyways.<br />
They probably just want to save me from the heartbreak I have to go through every day.<br />
The feelings that I can't control.<br />
They say you don't get to pick who you fall in love with...<br />
and I think I know that better than most.<br />
<br />
See, the person I fell in love with is someone who's too good for me,<br />
I mean, my friends try telling me that's not the case, and well,<br />
I've realized by now that he'd probably see things the other way around.<br />
He did something really bad, a crime that he had to kill his heart for,<br />
no amount of justification can wash away guilt or lift the weight of sin.<br />
I'm not a perfect person, but comparatively I'm innocent.<br />
Why would I even love him?<br />
<br />
<br />
" He's not real "<br />
I know.<br />
" He's dead "<br />
I know.<br />
" He would never love you "<br />
I know.<br />
" Even if he was real he wouldn't like you in the slightest "<br />
I know.<br />
I'm not delusional...<br />
<br />
I'm just in love.<br />
It's the feelings that lingered after the fangirl stage was gone,<br />
No, I'm not a confident ball of endless passion anymore,<br />
Yes, I do still have my moments when I coo over him excessively,<br />
But I'm in love much deeper than that...<br />
Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what this feeling is.<br />
It's always under the surface, <br />
Mellow with spikes of intensity when activated.<br />
It fills me with warmth and makes me want to be a better person.<br />
<br />
But unrequited love is a rose with thorns,<br />
and the fact he couldn't possibly love me makes it harder.<br />
He's someone easy to fall for too, so a lot of people love him.<br />
People who I often think of as better than me and can't help but feel sickeningly jealous over.<br />
I know it's not a contest, I know I can't control their feelings, I understand it all.<br />
But a part of me still wants a world where he loves me.<br />
I would never force it upon him though,<br />
I'd rather break my heart a thousand times over than cause new problems for him.<br />
... But I'd also stop loving him if I had a choice.<br />
<br />
It's a difficult love, often painful and misunderstood.<br />
It's a hard to accept everything and everyone, but I have to.<br />
Knowing him without a single word isn't fair,<br />
Loving someone without a single interaction shouldn't be allowed.<br />
But it happened, and it happened to me.<br />
I'd stop loving him if I was able, for both of our sakes,<br />
but I don't regret falling in love with him at all.<br />
<br />
He's not perfect, though I'd often call him that.<br />
He's so flawed sometimes I just want to slap some sense into him.<br />
He's super smart, but it makes him a little short sighted.<br />
He's good at reading people and predicting situations, but miserable at taking care of himself.<br />
He shouldered too much, maybe why he ended up so sick...<br />
But I guess at least he died with a smile on his face...<br />
<br />
There's a world of things standing between us.<br />
But you know what? Unfortunately my feelings aren't reliant on being returned.<br />
He doesn't need to be able to love me for me to love him.<br />
It's a shame, but it's my life and I'm fine with it now.<br />
I've come to terms with my issues, and I can face it all head on.<br />
My path was never going to be easy...<br />
But that's why I've turned out so strong.<br />
You can break me over and over again and it won't change a thing.<br />
<br />
And for the person I love?<br />
Well, it's obvious to me and many others who know me...<br />
But in case my hints and nods weren't enough for you to catch on...<br />
There's only one name written on my heart.<br />
The man who I will probably always love more than anything else...<br />
Itachi Uchiha.<br />
<br />
" You've never even met him, so you don't know what he's like enough to love him "<br />
Maybe you're right...<br />
" You don't love him, you love the idea of him "<br />
Maybe you're right...<br />
But, you know what?<br />
Does it even matter?<br />
Neither of us can ever prove the other wrong.<br />
All I know is what I know of him, all I feel is what I feel.<br />
And until proven otherwise, I stand by the fact that I am legitimately in love with him.<br />
Like it or not, here I stand.<br /> - Avg. rating:
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