I'm letting your lies fascinate me, mold me, unknowingly and irreversibly poisoning me. Eventually I'll be drowning in denial, convincing myself that you really did mean every word of every sentence of every promise you never intended to keep. Eventually is a word I've gotten quite friendly with lately. I've put everything and everyone off until eventually, "because they'll still care enough to be there when you leave right?" But for now, it helps to believe you're sincere with your promises and I'll let it help until it doesn't, and when it doesn't, it will no longer matter, because by then I will no longer need your venom (yeah, like that'll ever happen, right? You always said I wasn't strong enough for change.). By then I'll be to broken (shattered by inconceivable and irrational loyalty) to care anymore.
So baby, tell me that lie, my favorite lie, the one that tastes like sugar and flutters like a helium-addicted butterfly. Oh baby, just tell me one more time because the more you say it the more believable it sounds. Just tell me, tell me again that you love me.
Someday I'll see through your crocodile tears, (like the time you hit that bird, to you it was just roadkill and a dirty windshield, to me it was a devastating and heart-aching murder) your false smiles, your fake secrets. Someday I'll discover the real you, the monster behind the trick mirrors and trap doors. Someday I'll see you were just a master of illusion. Someday never comes soon enough.
You'll break me, you'll suffocate me, and you'll hurt me. Funny thing is, I'll be back for more. I'll keep taking the sugar until after the rush, until I finally crash. Someday: I can only wish for. Eventually: more like never.
Truth is, I need the sugar flavored lies and the equally sweet poison. Truth is, I couldn't live without the pain. Truth is, you're all I've ever known.
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