• This essay is to show how I can make the tattoo industry more vivid in its artwork and how to make you shut the ******** up and leave me alone for the rest of my life so I don’t have to deal with the harassment of you calling and calling and calling me in the middle of the night wanting to know what I’m doing. Well, guess what? I was doing the same thing as the other night when you woke me up from my dreams that had nothing to do with you. Oh wait, what was that you said? You want to marry me? Well, did you ever think about the fact that we’ve never even hung out before and you’re sitting there telling me how you love me and you never want to lose me? Well, guess what again? You’ve never even had me so how could you lose me and how can you love someone if you don’t know anything about them? One thing you really don’t know about me and that you probably never want to know is that you will not like me when I’m pissed off but you’ve never really seen me when I’m pissed off have you? Cause, well frankly, you wont like it when I’m pissed off.

    What was that? You want me to cut you down from the rope I hung on the tree behind my house that you are now hanging on by you feet and your trying not to listen to me talk as I watch your hands dangle feely above the ground? I don’t think that would be possible right now. You see, this is how I feel when you try to say things to me about my future when you yourself want to be apart of it, this is how I feel when you try to make decisions for me when I’d rather make them myself, this is why I can’t cut you down cause now I’m going to talk about your future and make decisions for you, without you, and without your consent so that you can see how it feels to be me.

    What did you say? How can hanging you from a rope make you feel how I feel you ask? It’s simple really. When you make up a future for me, I feel trapped like I can’t go anywhere, like I’m useless without you and well, you are trapped and you can’t go anywhere right now unless I help you. Do you feel all the blood running to your head the longer your hanging, the longer your trapped there, the longer I keep talking? That’s what it feels like when I have nowhere to go and your sitting there trying to keep me from moving out of the shell that you have created around me to make me be with you forever and I don’t really want to be with you for the rest of my life.

    What is that I see? A single tear running down to your forehead and falling on to the ground which now has killed the grass where it landed cause of how dark and evil your soul is which is going to kill us all one day? Oh yeah, did you just say something else that suddenly strikes my heart and soul like a burning arrow fired from a cross bow that is held by the hands of the devil himself? You want me to leave you alone and be out of your oh-so boring life for good? Well, wasn’t it you who called me after 9 months of not talking to me and expecting me to just go along with it and let you destroy my life with the words “I love you” when you don’t know who the ******** I am anymore, wasn’t it you who lied to me about your ex-girlfriend having your baby and then months later tell me that it can’t possibly be yours when in the first place you were so sure it was, wasn’t it you who wouldn’t leave ME alone when I tried to get over you the summer that my world came crashing down because of your stupid lies just to try to get me out of the way? I just so happen to think it was you cause even though you deny it as much as your black soul can, I will always remember the summer that death almost sought me from my hiding place in this dreadful world.

    What is that you say to me even though I am through even listening to the futile words that just keep coming out of your mouth no matter how far away I am from you? “I’m pissing you off”, is that you said? Well, guess what? That’s the point. I want to piss you off so that now I can rest in peace when I die and not be flipping someone off when I do fall over dead one day, and so that YOU will be out of MY life for good and never come back wanting me to give you sympathy like you always wanted me to do but I never did believe the dim-witted lies that you served to me on your plate that is just ruining your life and you wont seem to admit it.

    Now you watch me walk away with a blade in my hand and blood on the blade that drips off every time I take a step further away. The further away I get, the bigger my smile is because I know that I wont have to deal with you and your plate of guilt that you deliberately try to serve to me anymore. I stop and think to myself of how wonderful it would be if I turn around and there is a tear running across your forehead because even though you are still hanging on the tree behind my house with blood mixing with your hair you can still feel hurt deep inside you. As I turn around, you are no longer there hanging on the tree that stands behind my house. I walk closer to the giant oak tree that still has its rope hanging freely from its branch feeling puzzled and as I get to the base of the tree, I now see where you have gone. I stand before the fiery red hole in the ground that never ends before my eyes and I see your smile in my head as I realize that you were no longer human and that the devil himself dwelled within the tortured body of a man that I called Shaun.