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Broken dreams are real...
The people around you affect you, life is short and should be taken granted of, because we only get one chance. Our feelings play a huge role on society; and our character will smile and frown with us always. Everyone is different and have something special to share with either someone else or the world. But when someone is playing a game behind someone's door. The only thing she can do is smile and enjoy the ride before her alluring life takes a wrong turn and crashes right beneath her beating heart.
I was attracted by a life of material. All I wanted and needed was, Fame; I had no shame. I fell in love with a comely girl, so innocent. She and I had the same character traits and loved 95% of everything. You could of say we were meant for each other, since the moment we laid eyes on each other. The only thing that made us different was our sex and the fact that she was not looking for fame. She was just living her life and loving it with me. She and I settled fast and we didn't care much of the moochie smoochie and holding hands all the time. We only cared and loved our own company. As weeks passed by, I grew impatient of living a dysney life. I started to doubt myself by believing, maybe this is not true love. I felt used and I needed some action in my life; horrible trouble was my answer to everything. I first started flirting with girls I've never met before. My second phase was then hurting my girlfriend's feelings. I felt horrible and I felt as if she needed to feel the same way I needed to feel; pain. I was going mad with the pleasure of heat and pressure of being caught. I was never caught, because I always had a lie for everything and anything. Everything I did to her just made her want me more. I couldn't bare it or believe it. So I broke what was left of her, what kept her breathing and believing that there was still hope. We were never again one whole piece. I felt complete and calm I knew she was now broken into pieces.
Two weeks passed by and I could of not stop her friends from bitching and sending me threats. I had what I wanted The Fame. During does two weeks I conquer another girl's heart, my ex's best friend and used her for my own will. It was almost the end of the school year my ex didn't do anything she just told my girlfriend and I "You're going to regret it." As the year passed by I started to think, "This feels the same way, except I'm missing something" Love. I realize I had made the worst mistake in my entire life. I was no longer a boy. I had become a Jerk. I had always told myself I would never become one. But there it was I was the monster I hated.
Later, my ex forgave me and started talking to her during the summer. I still loved her, I was just scared to tell her. The next year I started to feel deep feelings for her and I couldn't bare it, I had to see her one more time. I called her during the summer and ask if we could of meet again and talk. We did. I would never forget that day. She was wearing a tight white shirt and jeans. I was wearing shorts and a loose shirt. We talked and started to talk about our past and what had happen that year we were together and away from each other. I remember showing her my diary to her and as she read the part were it said "I still love her" she stared into my eyes. Wanting to say something, she walk away. As soon as I saw her walking away I felt as if she wanted me to chase after her. I knew I would have to brake another relationship if I did run after her. I felt my heart feel heavy and as my veins started to boiled, I knew it wanted her back too. I got up from my seat and walk the opposite way she was walking. I turned around and saw her turning around. She had tears on her cheeks. I just smiled like I meant it and walk away.
The past cannot be brought back to life as wrong to brake a girls heart for your selfish needs. Does two years are carved inside my heart and mind. Having the chance of picking: live with the person that share everything with me or a stranger I barely knew. In the end I chose, the stranger. Since this day I am still with that stranger. I love her; my "Cupcake.". I have change from a boy to a man and I am old enough to know what is right and what is wrong. I never believe in love; but hey love hits the coldest people out there too!
- Title: Smile Like You Mean It
- Artist: jesus9731
- Description: love, relationship, cold, heart, poison, tears, sad, anger, shame, fame, high school, advise, dreams, dysney, friends, break-ups, haunting
- Date: 05/24/2010
- Tags: relationship love highschool fame
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Comments (1 Comments)
- MochikoMaid - 07/08/2010
- I think you can't smile at every thing,but you made me smile today!
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