A High School Crush

• Artist: xwritinglove
• Description: i wrote this around 04/25/2010 (?); the date isn't that quite sure for me because i totally forgot to write it down... i wrote this when i was feeling the high school crush that i had and wanted to find a way to get rid of it, which it is finally all gone - thank goodness for that. so everything's good now (:
  
  the grammar are not fixed and there might be some errors. i wrote this and checked over it, but my checking isn't that perfect, so sorry if there are errors. please tell me there is some.
• Date: 07/10/2010
• Tags: high school crush teenage

i should have known that this isn't going to end okay
i should have known that we aren't meant to be
i should have known that it's meant for this way
but deep inside, i was just too blind to see
with neither of us to blame, as a bomb is ready to blow
i sat around thinking, about the world without you
i finally realize the truth, the truth that came too slow
you think that i'm still hung up on you, well that's not true

look at me now, the memories all turned to dust
look at me now, my heart flown away with the gust
i wasn't really in love, it's just a high school crush
the time flying by so fast, all in a big winding rush

i should have known this, a long time ago
i should have known, you aren't the one for me
i should have known that this was all just a show
but, i'm crumbling don to small brown debris
i know that there is no point of waiting around
waiting around for something that's not there
even though i scream out to you, there's still not a single sound
the last moments i have with you, the moments that we share

look at me now, the memories all turned to dust
look at me now, my heart flown away with the gust
i wasn't really in love, it's just a high school crush
the time flying by so fast, all in a big winding rush

the month of june, it's coming by so fast
the summertime that's rolling by, only a few more days away
a huge white rocket, flying straight on with a full blast
as little tiny bugs starts to mold and decay
the memory of you, completely disappearing and gone
it's all a blank, like you weren't even there
jumping, high in the air, it's good to have finally won

Comments

[Tiger Pinko]

It's not too bad really. The only major corrections that should be made are the i's need to be capitalized and I realize most people don't know this anymore but the way you punctuate the end of each line is important.
No punctuation at the end of the line tells the reader to continue with no pause.
A comma at the end indicates a short pause (most poems are intended to be read this way in recent years).
A period means a long pause.