• So there was a party of adventurers walking along. they had a sorcerer (mage), a fighter, a ranger (think Legolas), and a Bard (guy who plays an instrument and gives his party buffs). The DM clears his throat and from here on out Chaos shall reign, proving that it helps if your players actually know what the heck you are talking about.

    DM: so you guys walk into a garden. it's about 50 feet across and 60 feet long. in the middle there is a gazebo. (if you have no idea what this is, go to google images and type it in, since this is vital to the story).

    Ranger: a what?
    DM: a Gazebo, so-(is interrupted)
    Bard: what are the deminsions of the gazebo?
    DM: well it's a pretty big gazebo so about 20 feet by 20 feet.
    Fighter: that thing is HUGE!
    Sorcerer: correction I believe that puts it in the gargantuan size catagory.
    DM: okay, so beyond the- (interrupted again)
    Ranger: I approach the Gazebo does it respond?
    DM: (thinking they're kidding) no it's a gazebo.
    Bard: I play music to the gazebo does it respond?
    DM: (still thinking they're kidding) no it's a gazebo.
    Fighter: I raise my sword does the Gazebo respond?
    DM: (confused) no it's a gazebo.
    Ranger: well I cast create water on the Gazebo, does it respond?
    DM: now the gazebo is wet.
    Sorcerer: okay, I use my Weird spell to make it's fear appear next to it. does the Gazebo respond
    DM: No It's a gazebo (getting a little ticked off)
    Ranger: I nock back an arrow on my composite long bow, does the gazebo respond?
    DM: NO, you idiots it's a gazebo!
    Ranger: I shoot at the gazebo. does a um... add my Base attack bonus and dex, plus magical modifiers, 19 hit the gazebo?
    DM: yeah it's a [choice word] gazebo, I don't see why you guys are so-(interrupted)
    Ranger: okay I rolled for 20 damage.
    DM: so there is an arrow sticking out of the side of the Gazebo.
    Fighter: you mean he didn't do any damage to it?
    DM: the damage doesn't matter!
    Ranger: man this thing is tough. how does one destroy a gazebo?
    DM: I don't know maybe an AX or a fire spell! but Guys It's just a F***ing Gazebo!
    Ranger: well I don't have either so I run!
    DM: (pissed off) THAT'S IT! you have envoked the Wrath of the Gazebo. IT EATS YOU!
    Sorcerer: Wait! I have a Fire spell! (at this point the DM hurled his core books at the Sorcere which resulted in a bloody nose.)
    DM: DO ANY OF YOU F***KING MORONS KNOW WHAT A GAZEBO IS?! (silence)

    the next 15 minutes was a curse filled explanation of what a gazebo is.