• Look at me... I'm a mess... I live a lie... I'm a fraud... All I've done... LIES!!!!!


    My attitude is a lie.
    My personality is a lie.
    My character is a lie.
    I am a lie!!!

    Pretending to be someone I'm not!!!!

    FOOLISH!!!!!!!


    but... I never inetended all of this internal rage within me...

    It's just that... back then... everyone treated me... like garbage... like a nobody...

    I was different. I must admit. And my contrast from those made me there target. They looked down at me. Talked about me behind my back. Denied my hospitality. I was the lonely girl who sat alone at lunch time. That was ME!!!!!


    So... if I can't join them... I'll be them... I'll surpass them. I pretended to like what they like even though I hated it. I pretended to be them even though it disgussed me. BASTARDS!!!!!!

    Now... I'm ruined... and it's all my fault... now... I am that girl everyone knows and loves.

    That girl who fits in every group... yes... that's me... the girl all boys like...

    If only they all knew... she was the girl you all detested... she is the girl who hates you the most!!!!!!


    I HATE YOU!!!!!!

    LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE MADE OF ME!!!!!!


    If I go to my so called "friend" and tell him this... he would go: Oh it's okay... I'll love you anyway....

    But I don't want your pity... I... I... I WANT TO BE ME AGAIN!!!!!!!


    Why can't you understand this? I want you to hate me like you once did.

    During my whole life, I've always been hated or despised. By my family, by my friends, by my partners. ALL OF THEM!!!!

    So why stop?! Why stop now when I can feel the glory of your hatred?

    HATE ME!!

    HATE ME!!

    Hate me like you used to do.

    Please... please... please.

    [cries]