• It was late at night, and still I could not catch any sleep. My room was just illuminated by the dim light of my night lamp, but despite of that, the whole room seemed to be submerged in a state of darkness.
    I won't say that I am feeling terribly wrong to anyone; instead, I will just sit and share my true emotions with no one but my inner self. I am the only one who knows how I really am; it is a shame my parents don't even know the real me.

    Today, I talked with him, my only obsession. Well, I have to be honest, I did not talk with him, I just dialed his house number and waited until he would pick the phone, and as soon as he say "hi" my heart started to beat faster, my stomach shrunk, my palms started to feel sweaty and my breath was short...then, I hanged off. This is what I do every night before going to sleep, exactly at nine fifty five, his phone would ring and the same circle would repeat.
    Probably you wonder if he knows it is me.
    No, he doesn't. He doesn't even acknowledge my existence. I am just a girl in a million, I am just the classmate who sits far way in the classrom, I am the girl who follows him with the gaze everytime he is asking for his lunch, I am the girl who follows with cautelous steps everytime is he in the hallway. Yes, and I am the girl who takes the wrong bus back home just to see him one more time. That's me.

    Would I ever change? I hope not.
    Would I ever talk to him? I hope not.
    Would he ever be more than my illusion? No, I pray it won't be so.
    My life is like that, and I loved it that way. Nobody will suspect ever of me, nobody will ever imagine that the crazy is me. After all, look at me! I am like you, just the average high school girl, with the same dilemmas, with the same classes, with the same problems, perhaps, with the same life.
    No, I am not paranoic. Paranoia is a very subjective state of mind...Being paranoic is being crazy, and my only crime was to be crazy about him, so just because of that should I be called paranoic?
    Then, any girl who has a crush is as crazy as me.
    Then, any girl who holds the girlfirend title is crazy like me.
    We are all crazy...some more than others.
    Paranoia, it is nothing more than a subjective state of the mind
    Do you think I am crazy?
    Then, say it so.

    Surrounded by the darkness of my room, I finally decided to sleep, just so I can live the same never-ending circles. Just so I can call him tomorrow, again...Just so I can hear his voice saying "hi" to a stranger like me...