• here i am again
    telling about my life
    but again i'm not looking for pity
    in fact i could really careless what you think
    not to be rude or mean
    but to warn you indeed
    so you don't get hurt at all like i have been
    so don't take it persionally
    when you might turn to me to tell me what you think
    and i just look at you and berfore you say a word
    i tell you i don't care
    it's just that i'm done giving a damn about anything
    cause when i do,when i start to care or voice an opion
    it all gets shot to hell,i get into unwanted arguements and cause trouble
    so when i say
    "my mom is obbsessed with a man who beat her
    and hit my brothers.i've had my heart broken
    and tore so many times,i never thought i would make
    it out alive,where i cried myself to sleep everynight
    and still do til this very day,i have to pretend to
    be happy to be bubble like nothing would ever
    break me.Like i don't think about sucide and giving
    up on the world.Like i've never fallen on my
    knees and screamed and cried and begged God
    to just take my life to let me die,because
    if people only knew the real me,only knew that
    i can't stand to be alone,but i can't stand to
    be around people.that i think too much but not
    enough,i'm smart but i don't show it,i don't care what
    people think about me,but i'm so self conscious
    around people,that i can't trust a sould,i can't
    let anyone in without feeling like i
    can't reveal too much about myself,"
    so here i tell you
    i let you into my world
    i let you know how i truely feel
    here i am trusting you but not fully
    so at the end
    what's it gonna be.
    will things change?
    will you just act as if nothing ever happened as
    if you didn't just read this?
    will you judge?
    or will you feel sorry for me or sad even though i don't want pity?
    or will you think i'm mental,weird and i just wasted your time?
    so at the end what will it be?...
    i cholse to go on acting
    happy,acting bubbly
    like nothing will and never could hurt me
    like i don't cry at night
    like i don't cry myself to sleep every night
    like i don't think about sucide
    but never could do it because i'm to
    damn stubborn my will is much to strong
    for me to give up on life just yet
    because when life knocks me down
    i have to get up to show people
    nothing can break me or at least
    pretend like i'm okay like nothings wrong
    so i'll go through life
    fakeing the same old smile and laughter
    pretending like i'm okay
    not letting people know how lost i feel
    that i wanna give up
    but i can't
    so i'll keep faking the same old smile and laughter
    the same bubbly but quiet personalty
    til the day that i die...
    so i'll ask you one
    more question
    answer it or not
    tell me or don't...
    do you still feel like you know me?...
    like you've known all along that
    i've been faking every smile every every laughter..........