It was visual art my sophomore year when i first saw her. To be honest looking back i imagined my sophomore year to be the same way my last few years have been sense the 7th grade. You know, i was a really good trouble maker. I ended up in the office so many times kicked out a few times, but i kept coming back. My freshman year was horrible. I was angry, scrawny and bad. I got into so many fights at school and at home. My father, my step father, beat me black and blue and i fought back. i ran away i went to jail i did it all. I smoked i drank i was terrible. But i was scrawny with fluffy hair and a curved back after a dresser fell on me and disfigured my spine preeminently. But i didnt care. Some how though despite all this girls liked me. And i liked them. But it was all the wrong girls. All the wrong love. But i didnt know it till i saw her. I thought i knew love i thought i knew what i wanted, but i was so incredibly wrong.
That year i was 15 and she a was a freshman barely 14 then because her birthday was in may and mine in September. She was tiny compared to most girls i knew. Black hair that went straight just past her shoulders, what made me smile was the tuff of hair that stuck up at her part, something that no amount of her trying to smooth down would tame it. Glasses with medium sized black rims, eyes almond cat shaped, and a deep brown. Her skin reminded me of caramel. But she was hispanic because the girl next to her was speaking to her in Spanish. They sat at the table behind me, and instantly i regretted my choice in seating i couldn't see her at all. But hey why would she care about me right?
Thats how it went the semester. I mostly only heard her. She laughed and talked loudly. She was always smiling i assumed, thats how it sounded like. She couldn't sit still to save her life. walking around the room and around the table happy. She was happy. And oh how i longed to be happy as well. It wasn't long till i learned her name.... it was an unusual name. I only knew TV characters with that name, but never an actual person. (NOTE FROM THE WRITER I WILL NOT SAY HER NAME FOR PRIVATE REASONS) But i liked it so much. For a long time i was content to hurriedly finishing my work to turn around to see her. i know kinda stalkerish. But i could barely see her. Because the class was so small literally everyone could sit at one table with 2 or 3 people left over. I was one of the two/three that where left out. So it was obvious that she'd be blocked by a few people, but like i said she liked to walk. And when ever she did i made sure to watch. No one really minded her.
One day the people that normally blocked her want there at all. I didn't know why nor did i care. I watched her for the whole hour and 30 minutes. Then the girl next to her looked up directly at me. My heart jumped and i spun around. I'm guessing she told the girl i liked cause all i heard next was "Nah, he's probably lookin' at you. Do you know him?" And that was the moment my heart sunk a little i put my headphones in and didn't turn around again.
At my school we had classes A days and B days. Four different classes for both A and B days. I cant remember now what day A or B i had art with her. But i saw her everyday. I was friends with some of her friends, at the time i didn't know it. I chalk it up to her trying to keep her grades up. I never mentioned her to any of her friends either, because i dunno just never did. But i saw her in the halls looking down, i dunno out here in the halls she seemed afraid. More tame. I doubt she ever noticed me, her eyes where fixed on her sneakers when she walked. Her sneakers, or her IPod. I noticed several things. One she liked her ipod alot, music alot, and she always wore this oversized jacket. Even though it was still pretty warm out.
Thats how most of the semester went. I never spoke a word her never. I just watched. I don't know if she ever noticed, i'm sure now that to others i was probably really obvious. Until one day, in November i think, on her walks around the class room she stopped in front of me. I just looked at her. And in that moment my heart knew something my brain didn't. She looked at me through those medium sized black rimmed glasses. Eyes big and captivating. Her face playful. One hand gripping the cloth of her jacket the other pointing at me and she said the worlds. Seven words I'll never forget: "What are you staring at you weirdo." And i just stared and didn't say anything. I just smiled and shook my head. Then i said "Nothing." and she shrugged and walked away. And in that moment my brain knew what my heart already knew. I felt warm and fuzzy inside.
No comments available ...